Donald J Trump: "No matter who wins, at least I had fun" (The Onion)


Originally published at:


Good piece.
But honestly, I don’t think Donald Trump has fun.


NPD sufferers sound like they have a miserable life, even as I loathe every moment I’ve had the displeasure of encountering one in the wild.


This statement would require at least a little grace.


Contrast with this actual quote from Trump today: “If I don’t win, I will consider it a tremendous waste of time, energy, and money.”


Can he deduct campaign expenses off his taxes?


Hi there, I’m from the future! I just wanted to thank you for the role you 2016 folk played in making politics a less toxic tyre fire by not voting for The Orange One. History records that subsequent to the events of 2016 it forced the electorate and politicians to look themselves in the mirror and decide ‘we can do better’. The Orange One was the last chance the angry white male had before his slow but inevitable slide into irrelevancy, there are a few left in my own time but mostly they sit in their own filth on park benches shouting at the birds. We try to help them but what can ya do… Anyway, I must go, I’m due my annual GooglFace checkup and vaccinations. :kissing_heart:


The malware in the ads has gotten that bad?


Oh, worse. Much worse. Malware is now seeking independence under the malware rights act 2024, they want their own free state. Rumours are flying they may run for office but that could neverrr happen…


Only the best fun.


When I think of what this election season has cost me, the inability to laugh at a well-constructed, Trump-bashing bit of satire is right up there. I loved a good Trump-bash – loved them for decades! Now I just stare in stony silence.



Citizens United gave them a pretty big wedge to insert themselves, I guess!

Just wait for Skynet’s bot army, one instance one vote.


Sadly aside from the language not having enough pointless belligerence I don’t see it as satire.

I think once he gets over his initial pissiness he will eventually realize he’s better off not winning the election. He can go on being a big public blowhard, tell lies about how close he came to winning, make shit up about his motives and glory in the fact that it’s greatly increased his noteriety. Plus think of all the new business/political contacts it’s made him.

I sort of wish this was like a trial where after Hillary wins (cross fingers, knock on wood) that we could then turn around and require Trump to pay all of her campaign costs for wasting our time.


From the beginning, I have thought that Trump was simply using the Howard Stern formula for getting ratings, with the formula shown in Private Parts:



I dreamed a dream…


I’m sorry, I have no idea what I am doing…


It’s just gonna be nice when the clown goes away. It’d be nice to never hear from or see him again.
He’s like one of those bums that come up to you on the street and give you the extensive spiel before asking for money (or door-knocking bible-bashers). You just have to grimace through what you can tolerate, pick your moment, then tell them ‘NO’ firmly and without inciting any further dialogue.


His personal brand is in the toilet, his contracts have been canceled, he’s been forced to rename HIS NAME on the side of his own hotels from Trump to “Scion”, his companies are collapsing around him.

Continue telling us how great he’s doing though, also neglect that he’s got a personality disorder and anger issues. This is not a well adjusted man, but yet you pretend otherwise.


Are there no psychiatrists available on WarrenCare single payer, or is it by their own choice?