Donald Trump weaponized fine-print to make it impossible to sue Wall Street for fraud

Originally published at:


Pffff, what a fucking crock.

Nice one, Alito.


So is he secretly whispering fine print into a voice recorder somewhere, ‘bespeaking caution’ about all the bullshit he has doled out on the campaign trail?


ah - the “jesus - who would stupid enough to believe me?” defense.


Oddly, as much as I hate Drumpf, I can’t seem to muster up any sympathy for his investors.


His approach in the election is slightly different: he just constantly contradicts himself so that he’ll have an out for whatever sleazy self-interested move he makes in the event he becomes President. Grifters have a fascinating toolbox.

His investors are born suckers, no doubt. So are his voters. The problem here is that a judge put his stamp of approval on what proved to be a fraudulent prospectus on the basis of “hey, life is full of risks, and one of those risks is people lying to you. So because he put the word “risk” in the prospectus a bunch of times you don’t get your investment back.” It’s another form of neoliberal deregulation that ensures that corporations can fleece customers without consequences.


They tailored it to their own grift, so it was “bespoke” at the time, but now all the other boutique firms are just copying their pattern, and making a killing on cheap knock-offs.


To this day, I am still mind-boggled that, in this election, we are still talking about Donald Trump!

Not because of the horrifyingly misogynistic, xenophobic and pandering trash he has spewed during the campaign, but because it is Donald Trump! How anyone could see class and success there absolutely floors me.


He wrote this from the 68th floor of Trump Tower.


aka the “Otter” Defense.

“You fucked up. You trusted us”.


Wow, that was quite fascinating. Since there’s no true standard around what counts as a “story” or “floor” (I mean yeah, there’s a convention that a story is 10 ft/3m but that’s not like a standard measurement) and the “first floor” can mean anything from the lobby to the first level above it. Counting below-ground floors in the total as well is brilliant… I mean it’s not like a floor has to be above ground, right? I bet he also counts maintenance levels as well since why the hell not.

Basically you can work the numbers any way you want since it doesn’t really mean anything.


They’re compensating:


Here are some red flags that everyone should be aware of:

-someone really wants you to agree to something, but wants you to read over boat loads of text first
-any contract/agreement that goes on and on and on
-any contract/agreement that is “just template language”
-any contract/agreement that you’re a party to, yet you had no hand in drafting


I would the base the numbering on a technical/scientific approach – the Fibonacci Sequence… Sure having two first floors might be confusing, but just think what I could charge for a Trump Tower suite on the 591286729879th floor?


This story has a similar smell to these overbearing EULAs that we supposedly “sign” by opening the shrinkwrap. And no matter how clever the wordsmithy, there are con sumer rights you simply cannot sign away. I mean, there must be a limit somewhere, otherwise you could contract yourself into chattel slavery. (Instead of having the state draft you into it, or be sentenced to it as punishment)

I sincerely hope that future judges throw out this legal precedent, and brand this one judge an “activist” for his troubles. I suppose the SCOTUS embargo may decide how important this really ends up being.


You could build it in Europe and say the first first floor is the ground floor.


Here in France, the first floor is always the one above ground level.

Somehow though, in the building I live in, my floor–the fourth floor according to the landlord and the elevator–is the fifth floor after the ground floor…

It’s the same in the UK.

The Cumberland Infirmary in Carlisle used to have two ground floors because there were entrances at two different levels.

I betcha Trump would reinstitute signing statements, and they would be yuuuuge.

Likewise with the Fibonacci Tower.

The ground floor is 0, the floor above that is 1, and the floor above that is also 1.

There are also two 13th floors: the floor numbered 13 (the seventh floor above the ground level) and the F(13)th floor (numbered 233).