Don't be a chump – check out these tourist traps to avoid if you're headed for Miami

Originally published at: Don't be a chump – check out these tourist traps to avoid if you're headed for Miami | Boing Boing


Avoid South Miami Hospital, especially if you have not-COVID. The horse paste is overpriced, and the drinking bleach had a weird orange flavor.


You couldn’t pay me enough to go to Florida - the heat, the humidity, the bugs, the gators, snakes, lizards, UGH!


You forgot Floridians in your list. But I think Desantis is covered by both “snakes” and “bugs”.


Best trick to avoiding Miami scams: don’t go to Florida. At all. Ever. For anything.

Boycott the land of Gilead. Donate that vacation money instead to groups helping people being victimized by Deathsantis and his insane policies.



I’m speaking from mostly pre-pandemic experience; but I had noticed an uptick in Austin of bars and restaurants presenting you with a totals-only receipt, forcing you to ask for the itemized copy.

Is this a trend elsewhere?


I did have a $35 drink there about 7 or 8 years ago, but it was the size of a soup bowl, then another came with it. It was basically 6 drinks, which ended up being a good value. (If you want 6 drinks.)
Dad stayed sober, with a couple of light beers only, so extras on the bill would have nixed quickly.

I wouldn’t call it a tourist trap, per se, just the cost of doing business on South Beach!

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Flying into Fort Lauderdale instead of Miami to save a few buck on air travel. Unless you’re renting a car, what you save in airfare will likely be a wash once you pay the taxi or Uber fare.

Technically, you can take public transit and arrive at Miami Beach in less than two hours.


…and now i’m at the beach with all my luggage! yay!


I mean, folks in Chicago take the El to the airport all the friggin’ time! There’s even a dedicated station just for the airport. :man_shrugging:


The tourist trap is Florida.


I got ripped off in South Beach twice. Shame on me!


You’re not missing out on anything here. It’s all a bunch of hype. It’s second rate. Very superficial, shoddy and no quality control. A luxury high rise condo just collapsed. Right on the beach. That’s the kind of stuff that happens in third word countries. No one who is in a position to ensure that doesn’t happen again can be bothered to address the issue


I avoid the problem simply by not going there. I can simply wrap my head in a wet, well-used gym towel to get the full Miami experience, climate wise.

Any place with sidewalk touts needs to be avoided regardless of locale.

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Miami is not the same as Miami Beach (despite what Lebron said).

Do a day on South Beach and spend the rest of your vacation in Wynwood, the Design District, the upper east side, the Everglades, on the water, downtown, Brickell, Little Havana, Key Largo, Coconut Grove, Homestead, etc, etc. Most locals rarely deal with the hassle of South Beach.

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