Dungeons and Donald: if Trump were a dungeon master


#1

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#2

It took a moment to notice that the dice, shall we say, had the ability to “roll high”. Nice detail there.


#3


#4

We can just guess what Donald would be like as DM - he’d Mary Sue himself into the game as an NPC that was mysteriously better than all the players combined, so that his character could singlehandedly kill all the monsters and bogart all the treasure, like the juvenile narcissist that he is. Bernie would probably be a cool DM, though.


#5

TPK for the GOP?


#6

I never could look at that Type IV Demon without hearing it asking for I.D.: “Okay buddy, just a second…”

And it turns out that they “are enormous demons that judge new souls arriving on the Abyss,” so they are bouncers. :japanese_goblin:


#7


#8

Nonsense. Just plate it with gold. Instant Classy.


#9

I haven’t played since I was a preteen, but I’ve long wondered if slaughtering orcs is racist? It becomes hard to decide who are “people” when there are trolls and harpies agitating for full civil rights.


#10

Ftfy

:wink:


#11

Replacing the 20 with a 21 is a terrible idea. Means you can never roll a natural 20.
Now if he replaced the 1 with another 20, now that would be great.
Arguably though. Loaded d6 are better due to superior starting stats your character would have. And a fire ball? Forget about it!


#12

Morality in D&D is a great thought experiment. In D&D good and evil aren’t subjective. They are a force and can be physically measured and creatures emitting either are intrinsically good or evil, but one can also change alignment by acts.

You can find out a lot about a person by playing D&D.


#13

While we’re on the subject, why don’t inline Twitter pics work correctly in my Firefox? It works all right in IE. (Things like this are why I keep IE around.) It doesn’t seem to be my ad blocker’s fault.



#14

and ten awesome things you can’t get money for!


#15

Oh god… This sounds like a number of diehard 1e grognards I have run into.


#16

He does have tiny fingers.


#17

Didn’t some one already make a movie about this (Zero Charisma)?


#18

I believe that we were playing a Paranoia! game where the central mechanic is to try and roll low on a D20. One guy was really rolling poorly. Then he rolled a 24 and we were like What? Turns out that the big bag o dice has one special 20 sided with higher numbers on it. I don’t have any idea what game that was for…


#19

Id imagine a dice like that are appropriate for paranoia.
But most likely came from Munchkin.


#20

Having played with someone who was, shall we say, a bit of a short-fingered vulgarian himself it’s more amusing to me to think of Donald as the player with someone like Bernie as the DM.

The funniest part was watching his attempts to murder other players for reasons outside of the game being mysteriously thwarted.