Dungeons and Dragons is full of occult demons, warns Baptist pastor

Also, if D&D is full of occult demons, what about the non-occulted demons? Like, to even specify that implies that there are also clearly visible demons somewhere.

We’re busy complaining that this guy is anti-D&D, when the more surprising thing is that he thinks he can see demons, but he can’t see them in D&D (he just knows they’re there).

1 Like

If Debbie doesn’t want to be Elfstar… is the character going spare?

My superstitions and symbols are better than your superstitions and symbols.

2 Likes

Every kid that hears him talk undoubtedly thinks they’re going to be temped to play by a table full of Kelly LeBrocks and the sad reality is they end up in a basement with a bunch of regular dudes with bras on their heads who can’t figure out how to hook the fax machine up to the scanner.

3 Likes

I guess if I only play old-school D&D and retroclones that means I’m really into that olde tyme religion.

1 Like

Or a wafer thin mint.

5 Likes

I agree with him.

Rules lawyers ARE the devil.

Though I have to say he REALLY dragged out casting the Remove Curse spell at the end. I mean, bonus for deep roleplaying, but waving his hand and saying a few nonsense words would have been enough. No need to monopolize the game, dude.

And really, he should have just had them watch Mazes & Monsters with Tom Hanks, the Reefer Madness of D&D movies: http://youtu.be/EpHQ4TWC_XU

2 Likes

Things don’t need to be “somewhere” to see them. Is the thought of a unicorn “real”?

I would not presume to know what they guy does or doesn’t see. But like most evangelical blowhards, he seems to not know much of anything about that which he complains. Demons work the same way in people as they do on your computer, you can instantiate them to run a task whilst you are busy, and remove them when it’s done. For instance, I can create a demon called Bleeburp tasked with thinking about tonight’s dinner menu while my main personality threads are busy concentrating upon yardwork. Anybody who dislikes demons should be forced to go back to getting work done old single-task operating systems.

Otherwise, it’s merely typical Abrahamic prejudice against indigenous European myths and morals, which are represented in D&D. Sorry, I didn’t grow up in bloody Nazareth…

3 Likes

Not any more. He ate them all.

So, this unlawful good cleric comes at me and throws down with, “…you
are cursed, your children are cursed, your grandchildren, your
great-grandchildren are cursed…” So, I rolled a saving throw of 77
(all I needed was 66), and the spell reflected back on him, and he
became a cancerous pig with several nervous ticks.

3 Likes

i don’t see why this pastier has hate for MMORPG like D&D or any other game… THERE NOT REAL… when he sits there and sins himself gluttony is 1 of the deadliest sins maybe he should take care of his own sins before preaching about what he doesn’t know or dose he?

Just wondering dose he secretly play D&D and what lvl is he? if he dose’t want his account anymore why dose he not just delet it lol

Personally, I wondered what attracts his congregation to this uncharismatic preacher, so devoid of rhetorical prowess. So I looked around, and I found this video

Ooh, he’s an exorcist.

I guess that explains things…

RationalWiki says

Delivered a number of sermons which are available on YouTube.[14] Claimed that Oral Sex demons “reside in the mouth, lips, tongue, taste buds, throat, sex organs and the mind.” Apparently he’s dead now.[15]

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Deliverance_ministry

1 Like

5 Likes

Also makes me think of John Tynes’ POWER KILL, in which you alternate playing a regular session of D&D or whatever, rolling through a dungeon killing orcs and stealing their gold pieces, and then play an “epilogue” of a group therapy session in an hospital for the criminally insane where the GM plays a counselor patiently trying to get everyone to face the fact that, no, they didn’t kill a bunch of wicked orcs in a dungeon, they walked into a tenement building and murdered everyone inside.

4 Likes

Crazy American pastors are all Lawful Evil.

2 Likes

Jesus saves and takes half damage.

I always assume he failed the roll, and got a one to boot. If crucifixion is half damage, what was full damage?

Christianity?

1 Like

Or at least Catholic school!

1 Like

Cat-holic? Addicted to felines?

This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.