Asshole moves, in order from most assholish to least assholish, in appropriating others works:
Asking if you can, disregarding responses you don’t like and doing it anyway
Just doing it
Informing them you will be doing it but not asking for permission
Asking if you can, and then agreeing not to if they say no
Not that whether or not an individual response is actually a dick move depends on the situation, but the place on the scale stays the same.
And yes, don’t pretend to be good. Pretending to be good means you are, in fact, a straight up asshole - it just means that you’ll be able to convince people otherwise some of the time. The whole deception thing really does sort of compound your assholery. Your less dickish options are either BE good, or at least be honest about being selfish.
