Emergency broadcast alert warns TV viewers that the world is going to end on Saturday

boing
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It would be fantastically piss-poor luck for the world to end two days before the new Star Trek series hits my Netflix.

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Perfectly Plausible!

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I’m ready for them!

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It always does.

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According to the fringe scholars and conspiracy PHds, tomorrow won´t be the end of the world. They used the Stellarium App and realized that the planet Jupiter, The Virgo constellation and some other cosmic entities are the signs heralding the impending coming of the Antichrist or someone like him.

So, next monday check your forehead for the number 666.

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I remember (as a pre-adolescent) worrying about the syzygy of March 1982.

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As long as it’s not Reptilians or Nordic Aliens.

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There is at least one redeeming factor about Youtube in that it allows one to skip all the talking heads and go straight to what you want to see or hear.

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NASA and astronomers

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Depends on whether the show is any good.

Maybe Nibiru is intervening to stop CBS from retroactively ruining all our childhoods.

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Yet there’ve been people claiming to know when and where he’d be back ever since he left. Oy vey.

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Funny is that was when I was actually supposed to be born, but I popped a bit too early due to blood poisoning.

Here is your tinfoil hat. I will be your tour guide.

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Don’t give up! Afterward is when you have all the facts!

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Pfft. It’s not going to be a planet. These knuckleheads have misread the signs. Kim Jong Un is going to bomb Guam or Japan or some whale in the middle of the Pacific, and then Kim Jong Trump is going to retaliate, and then we all die. On the plus side, the subsequent nuclear winter may cancel out global warming. If we’re lucky.

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It’s almost 14:30 here, where’s my damn apocalypse? I don’t have all day.

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He has already modified his “prediction” which originally called for planetary impact today (the 23rd.) The “bible” calls for mandatory death penalties for false prophets so keep an eye out as he will change this prediction more often than his sock mos likely.

Deuteronomy 18:20-22

The “pass/fail” test for “prophets” is accuracy.

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It is doomsday already and the worst that has happened is I haven’t been out for a good walk yet.

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And here it is Sunday (where I am).
The Sundays come and the Sundays go. You can’t explain that.

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It is now Sunday on Baker Island, the world has survived Saturday.

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People Doing It Wrong is, sadly, one of the great constants of every religion and philosophy.

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