Emotional labor watch: "Closers" flirt on behalf of men who use Tinder

[AndreStmaur]

@RedFury

@AndreStmaur

I have no explanation to that phenomenon. At the time I moved, the cities appeared comparable economically and socially, but for that striking difference. But the cities had a different history, maybe mores were formed at an earlier period and were passed from generation to generation.

But if I had been raised in that second city, I would have believed that casual hook ups were impossible, but for a few very attractive men. I would have had no way to know.

Oh, HELL, yeah! I, too, moved around a lot as soon as I achieved escape velocity. Unfortunately, I got trapped back here in Colorado due to family ties, much like getting a paw caught in the La Brea tar pits. I still had my ‘other city’ wardrobe and manners. By the end of the first 90 days back here, I was dressed head-to-toe in ‘rape prevention’ costume* because the entire state is chock-full of ultra-aggressive ‘incels’. By, ultra-aggressive, I mean they walk right up to you and make obscene propositions. When you turn them down, they start screaming at you, red-faced, about how you ‘have to’ oblige them and that you’re too ugly to have a right to say no. But it’s not the fault of the internet, I starting experiencing that kind of entitled rage way back when I was a 12-year-old, getting creeped out by 50-year-old neighbors and classmate’s dads.

Well… yes, I suppose that the kind of city you are in has effects on women as well as on men. Although I do not know whether the kind of cities where women need a “rape prevention costume” (your wording) is also the kind of city where men will be insulted when trying to flirt politely. I would rather live in a city where women feel safe in the streets and men can flirt at a party without being accused of bing perverts, obviously.

Still: the effect on one’s surroundings or “friends bubble” on his or her perception of men/women casual interractions does not seem to be sufficiently taken into account. And it should be, especially when we discuss on a bbs like this one because that context is important.