Incel, a disturbing short film about an "involuntary celibate"

boing
1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/09/29/incel-a-disturbing-short-film.html

…

2 Likes
2

Cool. Blaming others for your own problems. That always ends well.

10 Likes
3

Sort of like how self-defining incels blame women for their lack of sex?

16 Likes
4

Uh, that’s my point.

13 Likes
5

Oh! I thought you meant that the film was victim blaming incels… keeping in mind that there have been plenty of acts of violence committed by incels of course (Elliot Rodgers being one of the most prominent examples).

13 Likes
6

I have some fool proof techniques that can help any incel be successful with the ladies or men.

  1. Don’t be a misogynist asshole who exudes barely contained violence.

Works like a charm.

45 Likes
7

reaching a disturbing culmination.

I found the ending somewhat ambiguous. As hopeless as incels usually are, sometimes an understanding friend can pull them out of their online cesspits.

  1. Treat women like fellow human beings with their own desires and motivations rather than as strange, inscrutable and vaguely menacing aliens who have the potential to be props in your personal saga.

I assumed that but in the context of this topic I hope you’ll forgive people for being wary. As with topics on Jordaddy, ones like this tend to attract a lot of incels who’d make the exact same statement against the existence of this short film. No harm done on your part, of course.

19 Likes
8

Everything about the incel “community” is hideously toxic. The worst thing, at least for me personally, is that if they had been around when I was a young, awkward, naive and sexually frustrated nerd, I might have fallen into the same pit. It’s kind of a “There, but for the grace of God, go I” thing.

28 Likes
9

I’ll admit to suspecting the same about my 18-year-old self if the Web and social media had existed at the time. That’s why I take extra care to pull young men I know back from the brink when they start flirting with gateway drugs to the incel “community” like PUA or Jordaddy forums.

The same went for a long-time friend who went through a bad divorce just about the time MRAs were starting their on-line forums. I warned him away, but fortunately he’d already looked and, even with rock-bottom self-esteem and bitterness, had the good sense to conclude they were a bunch of hateful creeps.

26 Likes
10
  1. You may think you are the apotheosis of Western Civilization; that belief doesn’t entitle you to anything special.

2.5. If you think you are the apotheosis of Western Civilization, you need to re-examine your beliefs.

Do you suppose that if we try we could come up with 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote For Incels? The idea has a certain cachet. Where have I seen something similar?

15 Likes
11

This was really disturbing, considering the week we all have had.

14 Likes
12

8 Likes
13

Rule 1: You are not a lobster.

10 Likes
14

Rule 2:

16 Likes
15

You know, when you’re young and horny, the opposite sex is young and horny too. The social skills needed to get laid are absolutely minimal. You might as well be a lobster.

We’re talking here about guys who couldn’t even get laid in college. The women are not the problem.

2 Likes
16

Hey there now! I went to engineering school, and I represent that remark!!

My wife says I still came out alright.

7 Likes
17

That ContraPoints video is sooo good. Super informative and funny.

6 Likes
18

Honestly, even if these guys were getting laid, they’d still be angry, problematic people; they’d just be more likely to take it out on any partner who was willing to have them.

Sex isn’t the actual issue here; a culture of toxic masculinity and the deep-seated resentment of women in general is…

41 Likes
19

I know incels are scary and bad, but OTOH I think we’re in a golden age for self improvement.

When I went off to college, I did not have good social skills. (Turns out when you withdraw from all social contact for a decade to play video games you get a little stunted - whoops!)

Anyways, at the time the only resources you’d find on interpersonal relationships were crappy teen comedies like American Pie, PUA garbage and “ladder theory”.

I am deeply, deeply regretful that I bought into ideas like “the friend zone”. The idea you need to move to romance ASAP, coupled with their weird advice on “Kino” (basically "flirtily make body contact but taken to a weird extreme) really combine to create some abhorrent behaviors.

Nowadays if someone truly wants to change, a lot of the behaviors that will hurt them are laid out. (I winced when I first saw the term “mansplain”, but having it operationalized is also a great way to avoid it)

Now if you go into an Askreddit or Quora thread for awkward folks, you get decent advice: don’t focus on relationships. Join a club or activity. Hit the gym, be healthy. Maybe meditate or see a psychologist if the anxiety is severe.

It sucks that the same networked world that makes it so easy to find good advice also created these toxic communities full of negative feedback loops (since the guys who wake up and realize this stuff is toxic and bad leave, and the bad ones remain)

13 Likes
20

Wow, this is cringey. I’m only 2 minutes in but had to pause and click around on Reddit/BB and come back.

Edit: 3 minutes in now it’s dark oh god. Had to pause again.

Edit 2: Is this going to get exponentially darker each minute Jesus christ

4 Likes