Eric Trump says he won't be indicted because "guess what, we've always lived amazingly clean lives"

This is what Eric’s brain was going through when he made that word salad bar

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His feet, just like Daddy’s, are planted firmly in reality*.

(*of some weird, twisted, alternate Earth.)

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Hope he gets the chance to explain that to the judge.

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Amazingly has a few definitions, including misleadingly.

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I was just thinking they hire a lot of immigrant housekeepers. Heard Trump was a germophobe so it makes sense.

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Still true even though Eric Trump isn’t an elf, he’s a DS9 changeling who was cast out by them because even they have standards.

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They have other worries, like the money flow in and around Trump Co suddenly freezing solid.

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Analysis from the stupidest Trump kid? Give him a banana to figure out how to peel while the grown ups talk.

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Of course, if you remove all the shit from Eric (or Don Jr., or Ivanka, or the Orange One himself), you’re left with nothing.

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Too many Erics in that interview.

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“I’m not doing, you know, drugs in in in shady hotels.”

Wait…so he LEAVES his dad’s hotels to do his drugs?

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I’m certain he’s clean as a whistle!

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When he gets so impassioned in the last clip, I’m getting a Screech (Saved by the Bell) vibe.

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He’s enough of a moron to believe that the family’s toady, Weisselberg, is going to take the fall for them. That scnhook is going to flip like a pancake.

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Maybe they should have laundered that money a couple more times, for the stubborn stains.

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He hasn’t so far. Really, he’s only looking at a few years in minimum security. If he flips on his employer, he’s unemployable. Even though Trump is unlikely to do much for him in return for his silence (because Trump) his demonstrated loyalty will probably get him work with some other plutocrat.

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“Well, I used to be bad when I was a kid, but ever since then I’ve gone straight, as has been proved by my record: Thirty-three arrests and no convictions!” - Big Julie from Chicago, “Guys and Dolls”

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Hopefully, Weisselberg has noticed how well the Trumps looked after Rudy Giuliani, once he got into hot water.

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In both those clips he immediately tries to change the subject.

I can see him in court being asked a question and replying “but what about Hunter Biden???”

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