Even the woo industry thinks Gwyneth Paltrow's "smoothie dust" ads are too much

boing
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However, as Phil Are Go reports, numerous talking animals are outraged at the thought of limits on the magic dust claims.

I guess we finally know what the fox says.

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I mean- in all seriousness: I understand people wanting to be more healthy. Good food and health and all that stuff, I’m totally empathetic to all that. Good.
But when you’re into the realm of magic dusts mixed into your whatever? It might be time to take a step back. Slow down a bit.
Remember people: Gwyneth Paltrow is wrong about everything.

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I don’t know. As of the latest Marvel movie, she finally dumped Tony Stark.

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Perhaps, but I’m very disappointing, because – frankly – I’d buy something called Sex Dust even if I wasn’t exactly sure what it was supposed to do, because sex dust.

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Is Dillo Dust anything like Dillo Dirt? Yum!

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How about Placebo Dust?

ETA Thank you Cory for pointing us to Phil Are Go. One of the best sites I’ve seen at least since 1978.

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Ethics, schmethics! I’ma go empty the gunk outta my vacuum cleaner, pour it into jars and PROFIT!

WOO-hoo!

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Make sure you filter out any sucked up Star Wars weapons.

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Do I get to charge extra if there are silverfish included in the jar? That seems super magical.

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Uh… yes?

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I thought the same thing and was briefly horrified.

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I doubt they are related. That little Armadillo was a bottle opener they pack in as a premium and for give-aways, so he became a little mascot.

Probably not made from actual armadillos.

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I really hope not since Dillo Dirt is made from processed sewage.

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Yes, I read though I imagine it would give it a unique flavor and keep costs down.

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That’s an interesting set of products/consumers.

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Good thing, since can’t armadillos carry Hansen’s (f.k.a. leprosy)?

http://www.cdc.gov/leprosy/exposure/armadillos.html

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Are you supposed to snort the dust?

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OH, good, Leprosy. For second I though you meant these guys…

I was going to ask how many they can carry.

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Yes, it’s for huffing. Except for the Sex Dust, which you rub on your peepee.

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Aye.

They should really call Dillo Dirt “Dillo Dung”*. I was present at the 2009 Austin City Limits “meltdown”, when heavy rain caused the recently-dillo-dirted park to become a sea of brown sludge. I remember seeing some people playfully covering themselves with it, which shocked me because --at least to me – it smelled exactly like sewage (which of course it is).

*And really, they should call it “Human Dung”, if we’re going for truth in advertising.

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