Inspired by this:
I’m pretty sure forcing your enemies to bow down before you is a violation of the Evil Overlord’s List, and declaring your leader to be “the most powerful man in the universe” is likewise a violation.
So, for shits and giggles, and some well-needed laughs:
What other violations of either the Evil Overlord’s List or the Law of Narrative Causality have we seen this election season?
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
Trump has consistently violated this rule.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
Citizens United put an end to this one.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line “No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!”
Basically every candidate failed this one.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
Trump again.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
So far this has held, but I’m keeping my eye on Hillary.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
Jill Stein. I hear she’s going to try to Leroy Jenkins her way into the debate Monday.
I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
Trump, are you listening?
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
Trump, in regards to Trump Jr, methinks.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero’s rugged countenance and she’d betray her own father.
[snark] Good thing for Trump that Bernie lost the nomination [/snark]
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
Does the Trump brand clothing line have any talented fashion designers? Because so far, it looks like the the Legions Of Terror will be dressed either in white hoods or swastika-stamped Pepe costumes.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
This one is actually not a violation…
I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them
-All of Trump’s opponents, thus far.
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
-Trump, although, I must say not listening is working quite well for him.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords
-The DNC’s system administrators.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
-No comment.
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