Originally published at: Famously inebriated presidential advisor rapidly recants admission of guilt | Boing Boing
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“she was never present when I asked for a pardon.” […] “Actually, I told the President I did not want or need one.”
The comedy just writes itself.
She’s lying when she says she knows I robbed the bank, because she wasn’t there when I did it! [rivulets of brown sweat running down my face]
I think that’s an Albany expression. . .
It’s not necessarily that his pants are on fire, but they do need to be buttoned up.
Noted legal theorist Giuliani here presents us with a fine example of argument in the alternative. “I didn’t plot a coup! But if I did, it wasn’t a coup. But if it was, it was legal. But if it wasn’t, I had reason to believe it wasn’t and therefore no mens rea. But if I didn’t, I was drunk. But if that’s not exculpatory, there’s no corroborating evidence that I knew I was breaking the law. But if there is, nobody saw me do it. But if someone did, they weren’t even there when I did it!”
Lesser minds might note that this kind of argument is more commonly reserved for appeals, rather than presented in the form of self-incriminating statements before trial, but then few have Rudy’s particular skills as an advocate.
I’m surprised that he’s out of the hospital so quickly.
Rudy, “The witness was not present when I stopped beating my wife!”
(because he didn’t ask… he groveled)
It turns out that it’s just a short step from America’s Mayor to America’s Town Drunk.
Otis is out of a job.
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