Fan conspiracy: there were actually two different Luke Skywalkers

“…smaller to save money. The reason as to why all other characters besides Luke are slightly shorter can be chocked up to slight…”

Don’t know about this nutty theory, but I do know the expression is “chalked up to.”

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Luke Skychocker.



The truth is actually stranger. There’s only one Luke Skywalker, but Mark Hamill is an immortal being from that same faraway galaxy of long ago. Although he posed as Luke a number of times for tactical reasons, Luke was the true hero. Once the galaxy was safe, Mark received Jedi training from Luke and then traveled the universe and eventually settled on Earth. The entire Star Wars franchise is simply Mark recounting Luke’s adventures through the cinematic talent of George Lucas.


So how long before this becomes somehow interlinked with white supremacy and anti-vax like seemingly every other dumb conspiracy theory? It’s mandatory now.


My mother absolutely believes this.

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If only all this brain power could be used for good instead of stupid.


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That’s kinda where your theory breaks down.


Okay, this actually made me laugh. Every single one of those fan theories is hilarious. Even the one about Mark Hamill having an on-set double who appears on film, something that does frequently happen in movies with stunt doubles and stand-ins. Somehow they made that idea ridiculous. But I especially like the “smaller sets” theory. To save money, they reduced the size of the sets by what must have only been… a few inches? And the rest of the cast shrank?! I honestly can’t tell if someone was taking the piss there either.

I’m sorry to say it isn’t, for me. But I’ve never seen three competing fan theories that were such a constellation of hilarity.


The gospel of Mark RE: Luke? talk about spin-offs and prequels…


I already posted this once this week…

(From this week’s Private Eye.)


i think some people need a talking to by Father Ted: Cows: Small Or Far Away? | Father Ted - YouTube

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This all ties in with the flat earth somehow, but I haven’t sussed it out yet. If that dude with the steam-powered rocket hadn’t crashed and died, we’d have the evidence we need to expose bigger Luke today.

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The theory probably comes from the scene where the centurion asks, “Which one of you is Skywalker?” And one after another, everyone speaks up and says, “I am Skywalker.”

That’s my favorite scene in Star Trek.


it’s as if millions of fans suddenly cried out in dadaism and were suddenly silenced

hyperspace i think.

hmmm… so if star trek is supposed to be our future… does that mean they have star wars parties on the holodeck every may 4th? and if so, who cosplays as whom? even more confounding: do they watch tos repeats on tng? :thinking:


I’m going to go with Paul is alive, because if he were dead who else would have taken credit for The Frog Song?


Paul’s music has been often hit or miss over the years but Ram is one of my favorite records and definitely was written after that conspiracy (not to mention later Beatles albums)… I always think, well if Paul is dead, I guess I really like this new guy who took over as much or better than the old guy. ha

Upsettingly, there appears to be no gabber version. I’m disappointed in the world in general and Newcastle in particular by this turn of events.

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I’m finding it odd that this old “theory” has popped up twice in my feed from two different sources. There’s the linking to The Guardian article here and it was offhandedly mentioned in a recent Retronauts podcast episode, which was recorded a while ago. My initial thought is that the writer for The Guardian heard the podcast and just threw together some low effort content. The truth is that it’s probably just a coincidence.

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Well, until they finally met up in that cave on Dagobah, anyway.

After that encounter the formerly shorter Luke was about a head taller than the other guy.