Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/01/26/solves-retirement-crisis.html
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Hey, somebody let loose the data scientists. Quick, do something uncorrelated.
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Whether conscious decision or extreme stress causing extreme distraction/risk-taking, this is very bad news indeed…but not surprising, to those who understand that the peons who are most affected by the downsides of capitalism are actual human beings with hopes and fears.
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I bet a bunch of people are driving while on their phones, reloading their stocks page every 30 seconds.
My phone’s blowing up! No really, it’s on fire! No I mean really …
I’d like to see it correlated with car-bicycle collisions.
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Investment must be perpetually bad in Tucson.
Actually, that would explain the preponderance of “Coin” shops.
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Big jump from stock market fluctuations to entire pensions being wiped out. Could blame mainstream media (agents of capitalism?) for over-blowing half point fluctuations.
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Seems legit…
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It seems like there are too many people assuming that it’s the stock market fluctuations causing car crashes, and not enough people assuming that car crashes are magically influencing the stock market from the future!
Seriously though, there is probably some coke-snorting investor somewhere who just misread this study and is crazy enough to try manipulating the stock market via reckless driving.
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Hack street light to show green at the same time in all directions, and make a fortune short selling stocks. Mainly stocks in companies producing street lights.
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People pay attention to stop lights? I want to live in your city.
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Oh, oh, oh! I know this! That must be about the many times vehicles have crashed into and rollover-rampaged through the NYSE and CSE!!
The irony is, some of those probably are connected. (E.g. if margarine is seen as a cheaper alternative to butter, sales are proxies for the economic health of households, so are relevant to other decisions being made.) If nothing else, rising and falling numbers could reflect the funding for the various organizations that collect the data in the first place - all the numbers going down at once because they’re all starved of funding…
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If true, then knowing Trump deliberately manipulates the market with his tweets for personal gain, means that he literally murders how many people each time?
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Hardly need to engage in hypotheticals; he let Erdogan bomb the Kurds with a tweet.
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We could save some lives by trying to control the stock market, but I think it would be easier to save lives by stopping Nicholas Cage from making any more movies:
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What do you call it when somebody dies penniless?
Excellent timing!
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I’ve frequently said one of the problems with religious adherence to laissez-faire capitalism is that the “invisible hand of the market” will blithely correct for disparities by outright murdering the economically inconvenient. Even I didn’t mean it quite this literally.
I was seriously hoping the article was about a new form of Wall Street defenestration.
Just another crushing disappointment in my day…
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