I don’t get the way girls and ‘girls’ stuff’ are so stigmatised among boys. While my son likes a number of more typical boys programs, he also likes My Little Pony and Frozen (and wants to be Elsa). Often I think the girls’ shows have a better message - accept your differences, recognise each other’s humanity and abilities and learn to get along. There’s often confrontation, but it generally ends in a more amicable resolution and the idea that some people are just going to be enemies is challenged. The constant pink is annoying and the programs fail in a number of other areas, but they often have a better message than the overly militaristic, aggressive and success-orientated programs aimed at boys. We try to make sure he doesn’t get pushed into a stereotype (I mean, you can enjoy climbing, competing, cooking and dancing at the same time), but occasionally it’s fine for boys to rock out in a tutu.
I thought he meant because they start to look so similar. If it´s because of fear of inferred sexual undertones, that´s sad man.
Interesting. In the yoga world, some people I know learn how to give hugs, or maybe just spend some time figuring out how to give a very good one. I know it sounds a little crazy, but if you ever get one of these hugs, they are heaven. I’ve had a number of men give me these super yogic hugs and they are just lovely, not creepy in any way; in fact, the opposite of creepy. I guess it takes the right kind of guy to do it, but it feels wonderful to have someone wrap you up in his arms and just be with you.
When I was in high school I was in a tightly knit clique. It was co-ed, both male and female. It almost was a tribe, except we didn’t hate everyone else like typical tribal behavior. More like, we needed a group to trust. And we always greeted with a hug. The males and females gave amazing hugs. There was little sexuality to it amongst us. We were friends who looked after each other, for the most part. A lot of us were Aspergers and/or ADHD, and needed the human contact more than ever.
I swear, a tight, close hug is therapeutic. It lets you feel like you aren’t alone in the world. And I miss it so much. I may be a spiny bastard most of the time, but even spiny bastards need to feel human. It is a great tragedy that touch is no longer acceptable in my area of society.
The creep factor, I fear is more about me being a loud mouth in chat and how my personality comes across, than I think it does reflecting necessarily how friendly I am, or how I intend a virtual hug. I fear that people’s impressions of me from my tone are the determining factor in whether they think “he’s a sweet guy” which I typically am IRL, or whether they see me as “oh the creepy basement dweller who has to be correct on everything just gave a hug to that co-admin chick who never corrects him.”
That is such a cool pic
I know exactly what you mean. Though, it always seemed to me a lot of the comfort factor was how solidly the person projected their intent- “I’m hugging you because hugging is good, everyone needs one sometimes, and this is not sexual at all. I’m not going to hurt you or creep you out, so you can just relax and enjoy simple human contact”
Yes, it’s very hard to convey things online. In my yoga group I’ve met most of the people there, and it’s always a bit of a shock to fill in the outlines of someone I think I know already. I can see that.
That’s so interesting about your group in high school. Yes, a good hug is powerful.
This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.
