Feral Peacocks terrorize Canadian neighborhood

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/06/feral-peacocks-terrorize-canad.html

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Easy fix

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Peafowl are relatives of pheasants and are edible…

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This is just poetic justice for all the god damn Canadian Geese which moved down here in the last 20 years.

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Yeah, my reaction to the title was, “Neighborhood overrun with Vegans” or “Neighborhood has no kids with pellet guns”

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You know my theory about Canadian Geese, right? That Canadians stuff all their hate into their geese, like the french do with ducks or geese to fatten up their livers for foie gras, and then send them south. That’s why Canadians are so nice and Canadian geese are such assholes.

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An ex-boyfriend who was Canadian insisted that they are “Canada Geese.” I rest your case.

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Now that we know birds are pretty much dinosaurs, this is not surprising. And I think they remember when they ruled the earth, which adds to their natiive belligerence.

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If you want to get technical, they are called “branta canadadensis”, so we’re all wrong!

Bring on the hateful geese and the sweet Canadians!

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Night of the Peacock!

http://www.dramabutton.com/

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It’s Canada geese, or as we call them, illegal immigrant geese. After all, the birds are migratory, spending at least half their time in the US. They’re just as big assholes north of the border, so we must assume that they absorb the worst of both countries, resulting in birds with a double dose of assholery.

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Is it legal to catch and eat peacocks in Canada? It would be funny to just turn it into a sport where you can’t shoot them but you can chase them in packs.

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In some parts they encourage cutting trees and shrubs (because “Fire Safe”).

Here, Peacocks would be a cougar attractant, but I guess that would be temporary.

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The population used to be kept in check by public-spirited volunteer organizations, but a bunch of officious concern trolls put a stop to that. How do you like your manicured, poop-smeared lawns now, Mr. and Mrs. Suburbanite?

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Hahahahahaha! Yeah, at least half.

For example the ones that spend 365 days out of every year befouling my yard and harassing passersby.

Unfortunately, the migratory species act that protects them doesn’t have an exclusion for lazy grifter geese that don’t migrate, or at least I haven’t found such an exemption in the dense thicket of legalese that controls when and how I’m allowed to kill them.

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They have their sedentary counterparts here that stay around all winter. A few years back there was an attempt to re-instil the migratory instinct by packing up a number of them on a cargo plane and flying them south.

Of course, next fall the geese just showed up at the airport.

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I’m sticking with my Canadians stuffing them with hate and sending them south story.

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Busted.

Sorry. It’s just that we have so much hate. :anguished:

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Friend just posted this:

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