Yeah, but you stuff them in geese and send them south, so problem solved! Canadians are the nicest people on the planet, thanks to that!
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With apologies to absolutely everybody:
When Canada sends their geese, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending geese that have lots of problems, and they’re bring those problems with us. They’re bringing poop. They’re bringing honks. They’re biters. And some, I assume, are good birds.
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One could almost call it an infestation. An Infestation of Peacocks. That does have a certain ring to it.
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There are a bunch of goslings at my local pond right now. I’ll admit they are kind of cute, but soon they will transform into hissing shit monsters.
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Yeah, just like Canada Geese, only fabulous!
Trumpeter swans make them look small however.
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“Guys and gals and dogs better scurry
When those peacocks take over Surrey,
When the peacocks take over Surrey you will cringe non-stop.
Watch those birds and see how they flutter
As they knock your ass in the gutter,
They’ll make you and yours start to mutter and to call a cop
When the peacocks invade Surrey and impinge your treetop.”
(With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.)
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If someone’s feeding these feral peacocks they should bear the cost of rounding them up and making them captive birds. The person feeding them seems to have made them into a personal safety issue; how has BC not solved this already? If the area is too populous, you can’t shoot at the damn things anyway.
And Canada geese used to migrate and spend less time around us, and I think there were less of them, but humans like the water-wasting carbon-nil stretches of nonnative grass called “lawns,” for which Canadas are enthusiastic zambonis. And then these geese act too much like human beings for us to tolerate: they like green open spaces for their kids, and they think they own the place and behave aggressively and make a mess everywhere they go.
The Migratory Bird Act that’s casually slandered these days as overreaching and even abusive of 'muricans rights may have helped create the Canada geese problem (it’s the grass), but the larger picture on bird populations remains pretty lousy:
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A modest proposal
[https://youtu.be/yhuMLpdnOjY] Poisoning Peacocks in the Park?
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I totally thought this was going to be a story about Doug Ford.
Well, after tomorrow’s election, we can just replace the gov.on.ca homepage with this.
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someone’s feeding these feral peacocks
So one moment you’ve got certified quality foxglove and fescue fen going, the next you’re domesticating them for Columbia herself? Steep curve. What about carting medium elevated astroturf around on an incline with a gutter (steam clearing, catalysts, ditch sluice…) until it weighs a few peacritters and then have the arduino (and some servo) go crackers with a signal whip (I imagined one for peacocks and peahens, but…maybe in Tamil) until the infill is more at agricultural use. Maybe they tour on cues enough to go plant and harvest crocus in Edmonton. Maybe they get super focused on wildcrafting and diagnoses. Maybe they molt arrangements in 12’ autoclave pipes that are hit by heliostats to anneal the material into roadway spars. They disdain buttercrisp lettuce and eat only the little moths or eggs…aggressive displays are by schedule with a promoter.
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lmfao, hilarious shit right there.
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And that’s why we need tighter immugratshon policies.
They’re BAD HOMBRES. And they are gonna steal jobs from hard working AMERICAN geese, and other foul Americans.
/s
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Aa-hooo! Peacocks of Surrey!
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Who try to eat your toes if you wear sandals.
This has happened to me several times.
I’ll have to look up how that is done. We have an ostentation of peacocks at a park here, but the population seems to be stable. The park is in the middle of a preserve, so no neighbors close by to be bothered by the astounding level of noise those birds can make.
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Props for actually knowing or looking up the correct term (i.e. “an ostentation”) for a flock of peacocks 
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No, dude. This.
http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/hunter-shooting-his-automatic-shotgun-a-bird-picture-id543027661
Possibly you missed the illustration I provided that gives the general idea. 
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