Canadian goose enters home & fails to kill anyone

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/10/19/canadian-goose-enters-home-fails-to-kill-anyone.html

8 Likes

Doesn’t sound very Canadian.

9 Likes

I assume the shitting is true and the hissing is plausible. But your cooking knowledge has me most concerned.

7 Likes

A family I know has a mantra around Thanksgiving: “Goose makes great gravy.”

FWIW, it’s pretty good gravy.

8 Likes

That’s because they aren’t “Canadian Geese”. They are “Canada Geese”.

23 Likes

As a Canadian I am not sorry to say that Canada Geese are very definitely assholes - maybe not as assholey as wasps but when they get riled they can easily fuck you up. And their shit is a relentless parade of vile, dark green, greasy, sticky, smelly, poopy muck - and they shit everywhere. We’re not supposed to eat them, they’re protected for some inane cultural reason, but they are indeed more greasy than fatty. Swans are better - but they’re also assholes. If the Toronto geese and raccoons ever get past their differences and team up against us, we are fucking doomed.

18 Likes

All geese are assholes. They try to eat your toes if you are wearing sandals and stand in the middle of roads daring you to stop honking and run them over.

8 Likes

This is true. However. I did mean Canadian Geese. A Canada Goose is not the only goose asshole our great nation has to offer. I’ve yet to meet a goose, up here beyond the wall, that I’d feel comfortable with turning my back on.

8 Likes

I guess climate change has meant that geese are less likely to do the intercontinental migration thing and just stay permanently as Canadians. Touche.

5 Likes

Yep, they’re just “asshole geese” to me. They may as well be the Canadian Marine Corps, because they’re meaner than everyone else in the country.

She’s lucky she escaped with her life. THIS TIME. That goose will probably circle back to tidy up loose ends once it’s on the mend.

12 Likes

But it sounds very much like geese. Just like Canadian people, Canadian geese aren’t as exceptional as they think they are.

Canadian might not be a synonym for asshole, but goose sure is.

7 Likes

I can’t vouch for the eating (dinosaur is not ever on my menu), but everything else Seamus says about Canada Geese is true.

@Robbo: Mute Swans are total dicks, but our native Trumpeter Swans are gentle birds.

6 Likes

You know, I realise this was supposed to be a joke, but I’ve seen one of the damn things not only beat the crap out of an idiot who ran at it waving his arms and yelling, but it also stole his pants, and took off with them. Dude didn’t even get a chance to turn his back.

9 Likes

A former manager once told me of his family’s frightening encounter with an owl. They had just come back from the movies when, in their kitchen, they came upon a Great Gray Owl. It was sitting atop a chair back… just staring at them. Something about a wild animal, suddenly appearing – staring at them. As reported “… we were frightened out of our wits.” Automatic, primal fear.

6 Likes

I wasn’t talking about geese, but I sure as hell hope you are.

1 Like

The “inane cultural reason” is that they very nearly went extinct in the early 1900s.

Legal protection has coincided with massive forest clearing to bump their numbers far out of the endangered zone.

Manitoba is set to establish a regular hunting season for Canada geese, they might well see a tourism boost as well, if enough folks want retribution.

4 Likes

Isn’t the standard joke that Canadians are so nice because all the country’s aggression is taken up by the geese. And hockey.

6 Likes

so that’s where the verb came from

1 Like

image

1 Like

I think that the much maligned Canada Goose needs a fair shake.
I grew up in the U.S.N.W. where there are resident populations and
I’ve never even heard one hiss.
Domestic Geese on the other hand, though delicious, will fuck-you-up.

4 Likes