Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/08/02/fields-medal-stolen-moments-af.html

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I wonder if Terry Bryant has decided to branch out from Hollywood?

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/terry-bryant-frances-mcdormand-alleged-000659707.html

BOLO4

The police thought at first that the butler had done it, but it in the end it didn’t add up.

“Light-Fingered Opportunist Manuel “Greased Rat” Ramierez awarded thievery’s highest honor, the Artful Dodger medal, for his theft of mathematics’ highest honor, the Fields medal.”

(1 medal) - (1 medal) = (0 medal) + (1 embarrassed organizer)

Reduces to

0 = embarrassed organizer

Which means the embarrassed organizer is worthless.

I like the mathematical presentation of this relevant comment. “Profoundly sorry” is equivalent to “thoughts and prayers”, infinitely less than a replacement medal or any substantive effort.

“Wow, what are the odds of that happening?”

(Roomful of mathematicians suddenly goes quiet as the mental calculations begin.)

**Fields medal stolen moments after it was awarded**

Don’t look at me! I can’t add two 2 x 4’s together…

I believe they meant to say 14 **K**arat gold medal.

(confounding enough, **c**arat is for diamonds, while **k**arat is for gold, with **carrot** being a different beast entirely)

Also: pffff, 14K only, how pedestrian!

Keep a watch on other medals. There might be some big purple guy adding them to his Power Glove of Doom.

The significant value in the Fields medal is not vested in the chunk of gold.

I like carrots. But there’s no way I could eat 14 of them all in one go.

you could try a 14 carat carrot instead, which is rather small, only weighs 2.8 g, or ~0.1oz.

~says anyone whose chunk of gold is only 14K.

~~ ~~

There should be a special, hyper-specific level of hell just for someone who would steal a Fields medal from a mathematician. There should be endless, mandatory equation solving on a blackboard with chalk that screeches every time it makes contact.

Well, that makes it the second Fields medal for a Brazilian.

(First one won by Arthur Avila)

Oh, snap, special kudos for sly-linking to the actress with the second highest Erdős–Bacon number…