Flatware for germophobes


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/11/18/flatware-for-germophobes.html



For some reason, these leave me with a feeling of neck strain.


I have a good alternative. Don’t be a damn heathen and place your utensils leaning on the edge of the plate when not in use. And if you haven’t used them they should be placed on a clean napkin.


Just hold them over the dinner table candle before each bite.


Those need silver plating for extra germ protection.


Unless you’ve got an autoimmune disease, there’s no excuse for this other than extreme neurosis.


That has never kept people from buying antibacterial soap and crap like that.


There’s a problem. The handles are still touching the table so your hands will get dirty. And when your hands get dirty, everything gets dirty.


WTF? Because everything that lands on the upper (food-carrying!) surface is perfectly fine?


Gotta read the fine print:
For advanced sword-swallowers only.


Someday, people of the future will look back on our slothful coddling of our immune systems, our shabby under-nourshing of our microbiomes, and our wholesale plunge into immune system disorders… And say, “Well, at least they elected Trump.”

Wait, that absolutely wasn’t what I planned to put there.


So is that a very light tomato or a very heavy fork? It seems to be ignoring gravitational issues.

(Or more likely someone/thing is holding the out of frame end if the fork)


germophobes? i know a dope spoon when i see one!


The human body contains trillions of microorganisms — outnumbering human cells by 10 to 1. Because of their small size, however, microorganisms make up only about 1 to 3 percent of the body’s mass (in a 200-pound adult, that’s 2 to 6 pounds of bacteria)…

“NIH Human Microbiome Project defines normal bacterial makeup of the body”

Emphasis mine. Now I shall sit back and watch the germophobic bendy flatware people try to avoid contact with themselves.


We keep our finger bowls full of isopropyl alcohol.


Clorox’s the bomb. Whitens your teeth at the same time.


I can’t wait to see the forks designed to dodge airborne yeasts and viruses.


Just buy a bubble and be done with it.


Remember that fork bends back down to touch the table again at the end we can’t see. You aren’t looking at a balance point in the photo.