Flowchart: What kind of beer should you drink?

@autocharts


Do feel like blowing your top?

##MINDBLOWN!

 

I hated warheads, but love Sour ales, and have never had one for dessert.

Pale Ale and India Pale Ale get two separate entries, but Porter and Stout get shoved together, with nary a mention of an Imperial Stout or a Milk Stout. Barrel-aged stout is curiously off to the side.

 

#WHAT A CROCK

 

OTOH, also: interesting. And conversation-engendering. Which makes it all worthwhile.

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Also, no lagers other than shite.

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Conversations that end with me thinking about emasculating people with an angry simian probably are not worth engendering.

I am happy that “sour ales” have started catching on in the US, even if it took inventing a snappy name. On the other hand, I do wish every microbrewery and its aunt would make at least one beer that wasn’t an IPA. I get really tired of walking into a place, looking up on the chalkboard and seeing five IPAs and a Mango-Passionfruit Hefeweizen. Don’t they ever go to other breweries and think “Shit, they’re selling five IPAs and Mango-Passionfruit Hefeweizen too!”

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I know, I hate passionfruit! :-p
I do happen to like hefeweuzen, and usually not IPAs, but I also like to try new things. Oh well.

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Lagers are the most popular because that’s what cheap mass market beers are. If you focused only on craft beers (however you define that), ales would be most popular by a country mile.

From the UK. All I could think was “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

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Personally I don’t understand why people drink anything other than an IPA. But then I live in San Diego where the best are made. I understand if your only experience with an IPA is something like Dogfish’s you may be like “meh” about them, but once you discover something like Ballast Point’s Sculpin, it’s hard to drink anything else without feeling disappointed.

No gueuze. No lambic. No tripels. No bocks. No helles. No dunkel. No weisse.

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I’m disappointed that Corona/Sol/Pacifico are left out: Do you hate beer, but like the taste of polecat urine?

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Viva Michelada!

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And Clamato + Beer!

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We’re a bunch of Tuftes.

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Sours the next thing? Welcome to 10 years ago… oh wait I’m from Portland.

I don’t get it, but I can smell a joke even when I can’t understand it.

Damn! I failed right at the start. I want to get drunk but not on shit.

Damn you conjunctions!

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Could you elaborate on

Wheat is a little too much

As a non-beer guy (mostly due to hops), that one seemed the most interesting sounding.

Coopers Pale Ale is the best mass produced beer in Australia (Edit: possibly with the exception of Coopers Sparkling Ale, but that’s a little full bodied for me these days), and you Sir, have besmirched it’s fine reputation.

I demand satisfaction!

gentle slap across the face with silk glove

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There are a great variety of wheat beers, they are traditional in Germany and Belgium, and cover a range of different styles.

If you don’t like standard beers, you may well find much to like in wheat beers (or white beers as they are also known), they are typically fruitier and less bitter than other beers.

I think you had it right at “smell”.

No lambics? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. Or are you thinking of those crappy flavored aspartame-added faux-lambics?

This is something seriously weird - brewed and fermented:

NOTE: article is about the “healthiest” beers, and I couldn’t give a shite. This beer is … interesting.

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