If you’re ever in my neck of the woods, be sure to stop by Wolverine State Brewing. They specialize in lagers. They also do pilsners, IPAs, pale ales, stouts and even the occasional sour ale.
[Full disclosure: lifetime member]
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I have a much easier flow chart:
What kind of beer do you like? ----> Drink that
Beer snobs (and really, any food snobs) are so bizarre. Everybody’s tastes are different, I’m not sure why somebody enjoying the taste of a cheap mass produced beer makes them somehow inferior to you. I’m personally not a fan of Budweiser (or its brother up here in Canada, Molson Canadian), but I’m not going to think any less of somebody who is, the same way I’m not going to think any less of somebody who enjoys coffee, which I also quite dislike. Or mustard. It seems like such a weird thing to judge people on.
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I don’t like any alcohol. 
GRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr
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Q: What kind of poetry do Belgian monks write?
A: Lambic pentameter.
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Maybe better if you try a few varieties see what you like and go from there. Trust your taste buds.
[Subjective opinion] is the [absolute fact]! How can anyone [opposite subjective opinion] is beyond me.
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Stout is good. Ale is good. Porter is outstanding. Even Dopplebock is good. But American pale Lager is awful shite. But don’t just put it down to American Pale Lager being but a pale imitation of Pilsner, because Pilsner doesn’t taste like a beer should.
They’re already here, and growing rapidly. The only reason they’re not at the crazy level that IPAs are is that they are definitely a little more specialized to make, especially the brett ones. IPAs are just regular beer with a crapton of hops.
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