For sale: the largest, most expensive home in US history

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I never thought I’d feel bad for the residents of Bel Air, but dang, those “poor” neighbors,


If, in some wacky alternate universe, I was going to spend an absurd amount of money on a fancy house, I sure wouldn’t build it cheek and jowl with a bunch of other people’s houses.


Well mom, remember my dream of owning a big house on a hill and how I used to wish for a living room with a plaster lion in it from Mexico and how I always wanted a large twenty four seat dining table in a dining room with original oil paintings by Michelangelo and Rembrandt and remember how I always wanted a rotating bed with pink chiffon and zebra stripes and remember how I used to chit chat with dad about always wanting a bathtub shaped like a clam and an office with orange and white stripes and remember how much I wanted an all red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel and how I wanted a disco room with my own disco dancers and a party room with fancy friends and remember how much I wanted a big backyard with Grecian statues, s-shaped hedges and three swimming pools? Well, I got that too. Marie and I are getting along swell, but I’ve got a lot to learn about handling my money and banks. You have to be careful. Enclosed is this
week’s check. Love, Nile.


I’ve already found a fatal flaw. It’s got a 8,500 sq/ft nightclub and movie theater that seats 45 but only 30 parking spaces. Even for a half a billion dollars it’s going to be short on parking.


30 car garage and a jellyfish room? Sure. …but does it have a helipad?

$500 million just doesn’t get you what it used to…


How does someone who is able to build a $500M home not have a Wikipedia entry?


Notoriety|Notability != power


First you get the money…

Then you get the power…

Then you get the house you get lost inside of.


Do you know how much money and PR skills/experiences does it take to not be heard about?


If I ever had enough money to spend $500MM on a house, I’d want to to made to my peculiar version of bad taste not someone else’s. How do you sell a house like this on spec?

[I confess, I do like the architecture as I think it will pioneer 1960s Star Trek TOS Revival – that totally looks like some place in Operation: Annihilate]


So the rich folk get the 180-foot infinity pools, and us poor schmucks get to cut our water usage by at least 25% or face stiff penalties.

Oh, California.


This kind of money could buy a pretty good workshop. With a little cozy house attached to…


Sarah Winchester! We need more like her.

Not a “Mystery House” … but the super wealthy sponsoring jobs programs.

thirty eight years of construction - employing carpenters, masons, interior work, she WAS a major source of jobs for the valley, not to mention all the trickle effect of people having good wages, and being able to do things for themselves. Apprenticeships, (38 years) teaching the next generation how to work…

I wonder how many people are making fair wage and good trades on the “largest, most expensive home” being built now. nah, some corporation.


Billionaire for Bernie?


But is it Drought Resistant?

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“[a] main residence and three smaller homes…
5,000-square-foot master bedroom with twin walk-in closets, bathrooms, sitting room, office area and adjoining infinity pool. “It’s like a private quarters in a palace,” said Paul McClean, the home’s architect.”

“Yo, I heard you like houses, so we put a house in your house plus some other, extra houses”?

The statement, “It’s like a private quarters in a palace,” really says everything you need to know about this. Except that the “like” shouldn’t be there.

This is the floor plans for a 5000-square-foot house. Most people would consider it a mansion:


According to IMDB, he hasn’t been a producer since 2001. He did bring us Steven Seagal in “The Patriot” and Mickey Rourke in “Point Blank” (no, not that Point Blank.)

Something tells me he got out of that game quickly. But behind every great fortune is a great crime…I wonder what is was?


If I’m reading that plan correctly the master bedroom has his and hers closets, and her closet has its own closet, which in turn has its own closet.