Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/12/26/founding-father-gouverneur-morris-died-from-a-self-inflicted-penis-injury.html
…
4 Likes
Maybe he should have talked to Ben Franklin?
Seriously - go see a doctor. Don’t try to cure yourself
.
5 Likes
First thing that came to mind when I read the headline…
4 Likes
I can see why he didn’t get his own song in Hamilton.
7 Likes
3 Likes
cough incognito mode cough
5 Likes
4 Likes
Article is behind login/paywall. In such cases would poster please provide summary in post?
@MissCellania
3 Likes
from the article:
Suffering from a possible urinary tract infection, he took the almost unimaginable step of inserting a piece of a whale bone as a homemade catheter into his penis in an attempt to clear the blockage. In doing so, he caused serious internal injuries, which transitioned into an infection. He declined quickly, passing away at his family home back in New York (what is now the Bronx) in the same room in which he was born.
7 Likes
Modern medicine has seen its greatest advances in the past century or so, with ever improving techniques and knowledge. Prior to that, people were often on their own to treat themselves and sadly such experimentation often met with unsuccessful results. This includes Gouverneur Morris, an American founding father, who died as a result of a self-inflicted injury to his penis.
Morris was born to a wealthy New York family in 1752. He later moved to Philadelphia and worked as a lawyer, rising to prominent status. He represented Pennsylvania at the Constitutional Convention and signed both the Articles of Confederation and the Constitution- writing the former’s preamble. This earned him the nickname of “the Penman of the Constitution.” He later served as both a diplomat and Senator, spending years as a distinguished public servant for the United States.
He often showed himself to be more forward thinking than many of his peers, including his views on slavery. According to notes taken by James Madison, the lawyer was one of the few delegates to speak against bondage at the Convention. He argued:
“Upon what principle is it that the slaves shall be computed in the representation? Are they men? Then make them citizens and let them vote. Are they property? Why, then, is no other property included?
He went on to explain:
“The admission of slaves into the Representation when fairly explained comes to this: that the inhabitant of Georgia and South Carolina who goes to the Coast of Africa, and in defiance of the most sacred laws of humanity tears away his fellow creatures from their dearest connections and damns them to the most cruel bondages, shall have more votes in a Government instituted for protection of the rights of mankind, than the Citizen of Pennsylvania or New Jersey who views with a laudable horror, so nefarious a practice.”
Later in life, Morris was also instrumental in planning the Erie Canal and the layout of streets in Manhattan, which to the present day exist in the same way he helped mapped them out more than 200 years prior.
When he died on November 6, 1816 at the age of 63, Morris was one of the most respected figures in the country. Sadly, his demise was caused by a bizarre set of circumstances that was ultimately caused by his own hand.
Suffering from a possible urinary tract infection, he took the almost unimaginable step of inserting a piece of a whale bone as a homemade catheter into his penis in an attempt to clear the blockage. In doing so, he caused serious internal injuries, which transitioned into an infection. He declined quickly, passing away at his family home back in New York (what is now the Bronx) in the same room in which he was born.
The home surgery was a last-ditch effort for relief. Leading up to that extreme step, he had tried a variety of treatments, including laudanum, bleeding, cupping and a veritable cornucopia of homeopathic concoctions. Nothing significantly helped with his ability to urinate, which must have taxed him as much mentally as it did physically.
In retrospect, some historians believe Morris was actually in the throes of prostate cancer, which could have certainly hastened his death. Either way, his attempt at a home surgical procedure was ill advised to say the least. The news reported the cause of his passing as “a short but distressing illness.”
Research shows that Morris’ urethra troubles went back at least two decades. His friend Rufus King wrote on November 5th, 1816 about that history:
“He has been long subject to a stricture in the urinary passage; and have unskillfully forced a piece of whale bone thro’ the canal so lacerated the parts, as to create a very high degree of inflammation, which has been followed by a mortification that I am told will prove fatal. Some years ago, and in the interior of our State, he performed the same operation with a flexible piece of hickory; the success on this occasion probably emboldened him to repeat the experiment…”
Morris led a life of leadership and distinction. His work and contributions are still felt by all Americans to this day. Instead of the hero’s death he may have deserved he unwittingly died at his own hand, and in a most unusual and horrible way.
7 Likes
OUCH!!
(Thanks.)
4 Likes
Free article
I was going to guess that the Founding Fathers put on a too exuberant production of “Puppetry of the Penis.”
6 Likes
They never taught that in my Pennsylvania history classes when I was growing up.
4 Likes
Ok, that does qualify as self-abuse.
3 Likes
Might have done better with a Mastodon bone?
1 Like
Fifteen posts in and no mention of Bob Flanagan? I am disappoint.
Good advice now. Back then a gifted amateur might well have been better than a traditionally trained doctor. He had used this technique before with success.
PS: Obligatory Zappa track…
2 Likes
Frank should have had that looked at too 
5 Likes
“Eh, just put some leeches on it.”
2 Likes
