I replied to your original comment which said that if one only finds God in church they are doing it wrong. I don’t believe anything in her statement says or even alludes to the idea that God is only in church.
The best place to get shot is in the fleshy part of the buttocks.
But at least he didn’t get shot, there is that.
I love that this is Defoe. He’s such a trigger for evangelical nutcases because of Last Temptation.
An aside: One of my biggest regrets was signing a petition that was passed around our evangelical church to prevent The Last Temptation of Christ from being shown in our local theater. I must have been about 7 at the time and knew fuck all about censorship, but I regret it nonetheless. It was definitely a catalyzing moment for me, though. They may have prevented it from being shown in a shitty theater in a one-light town, but they created an anti-censorship zealot. Seems that the eventual outcome of all of their dipshit posturing is the opposite of the intent.
In my mind the best place is in a funeral home, during your funeral. What’s a few extra holes.
I did work in a major trauma center in a hospital in a very bad area. They actually had a police substation there. One of the cops said at least if you get shot here they take you right away, and the doctors are real experienced dealing with gunshots victims, so besides for your funeral, a hospital is the next best location
it is Humanist beliefs that are all about things like “mitigating damage”, while The Trumpernick’s Satanic beliefs are about the strong being allowed to prey on the weak. Perhaps to him, the shooter may have gone too far, but the idea is still sound. http://www.churchofsatan.com/
HAMLET
Now might I do it pat. Now he is a-praying.
And now I’ll do ’t. And so he goes to heaven.
And so am I revenged.—That would be scanned.
A villain kills my father, and, for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven.
Oh, this is hire and salary, not revenge.
He took my father grossly, full of bread,
With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May.
And how his audit stands who knows save heaven?
But in our circumstance and course of thought
‘Tis heavy with him. And am I then revenged
To take him in the purging of his soul
When he is fit and seasoned for his passage?
No.
Up, sword, and know thou a more horrid hent.
When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in th’ incestuous pleasure of his bed,
At game a-swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in ’t—
Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven,
And that his soul may be as damned and black
As hell, whereto it goes. My mother stays
This physic but prolongs thy sickly days.
Myself, I’d rather be shot to death at a children’s ward at a hospital. Or maybe during a funeral. My own wedding would be a distant third choice.
Because nothing says “I believe in the power of the gospel” like bringing an automatic weapon to a place of worship. (Christ, what an asshole!)
Another exercise in futility reasoning.
*and slavery, especially after slave uprisings…
By far my preferred place to be shot would have to be “in the bulletproof vest.”
Jesus hates science according to these folks, so I would think yes, they would consider that heretical.
Btw, if Jesus knew what science is, I don’t think he would have hated it. In fact he probably was familiar with some of the ancient belief systems that we think of the prototypes of science, I would imagine. I see nothing in his direct doctrine that dismisses the scientific method. But what do I know…
Based on what he does say i would imagine that he would be happy to see people seek knowledge and truth, and how to use that to better the world. Which science seeks to do. Put that way i think it’s a fair guess to say he would be for it as long as it was done in the right spirit, not for profit, destruction, or at the detriment of someone else.
Nick: I’m a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora: I read where you were shot five times in the tabloids.
Nick: It’s not true. He didn’t come anywhere near my tabloids.
This misses the essential point that modern-day Christianity has very little to do with Jesus. You think Jesus would vote Republican? Really?
I believe the idea that disgusts people is that trying to paint a pretty picture by saying “why, that’s the best place to die of gun violence!” is a pretty messed up reaction to something like this. It’s like saying “if she had to be raped then at least she had the consolation of knowing she was being raped under the merciful and loving eye of the Lord.”
No, I think Jesus was a nondualist-gnostic who was probably directly influenced by Eastern philosophy from India, and probably would have voted for Bernie in the primaries, and Hillary in the general, somewhat-grudgingly.
I won’t lie, I’m a bit partial to this reading of Jesus. 
Your response needs to be in 100 point type on the whole front page of the NYT, Washington Post and National Enquirer. Lots of heads would explode.
