4 Likes
Exactly. By now we should have learned that all the LULZ end up working for the other side. So we should try to think ahead and make it at least more fun for us, for a while. Why couldn’t John Oliver’s team have thought of therapeutic underpants?
1 Like
I was reminded today while listening to this episode of You’re Wrong About that this man raped Jessica Hahn.
2 Likes
…We’re sending out… “Miracles Happen” blanket… Sleep under it, or do whatever you want to do with it. Hang it on the wall!..
Fuck like possessed demon-rabbits under it! It’s all good!
4 Likes
The miracle blankets work so great that Jim Bakker has to go on TV begging for money… Kind of a self-own, I think,
2 Likes
Or any other god-botherer.
Tarring & Feathering is obsolete technology. A wood-chipper would work better & not pollute the well.
2 Likes
Can I order one of these but not pay immediately? They can bill me – I’ll put the bill under the blanket, and that should take care of it, right?
2 Likes
Those must be money rugs.
1 Like
Maybe I can hide under one of the Miracle Blankets and creditors won’t see me when the Sheriff comes to impound my stuff? 
2 Likes
I wonder if the miracle power is compounded when laying the ten blankets on top of one another?
1 Like
I suspect it works like a monkey’s paw, wishes fulfilled, but horribly. Like you’ll pay your bills off by becoming a televangelist who lies for money at the cost of your soul.
6 Likes
It works exponentially.
2 Likes
I think the Mormons have that copyrighted.
3 Likes
That would pay off all the mortgages in the known universe.
And here I saw the headline and wondered if someone had put a Bitcoin mining rig into a blanket, so it could churn away, heating up the house, and potentially paying the mortgage, or not, rather more likely.
2 Likes
Even refried bean manufacturers have ethics.
Then I will create GALAXIES BEYOND IMAGINING with my miracle power, galaxies of bliss, healing and minimal housing costs
Wait for the punch line!
4 Likes
Start a religion or hawk “miracles” and you’ll never need to miss a meal or want for custom tailored suits.
I recall reading an expose of one televangelist or another where a bit of dumpster diving found they were actually throwing out smaller checks (those under ten dollars or so) as “not worth the effort to cash” they had so much money rolling in.
People still defend this clown. “Satan has it in for him. He is a Man of God.” or “He made a human mistake due to temptation from the devil” and similar nonsense.
Iron shackles cannot match mental shackles willingly worn.
2 Likes
Couldn’t you just fold one blanket in a way that compounded its miracle power?
3 Likes
