Yes I have life stressors. A friend this am told me she uses exercise, so I may do resistance routines to wear myself out.
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Fuck me. The nausea is coming back and Iām hungry as hell.
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Too much time in the condiments thread will do that to you.
But joking aside, that sucks. 
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Donāt get too strenuous, though. It takes me a couple hours to wind down from every hockey game I play. Which totally sucks when I get off the ice after 11 PM and have to get up before 6. Do it early evening if youāre going to do anything that raises adrenaline or endorphins.
And good luck!
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The opportunity was there. No guarantee of success, by any means, but quite probably the best chance Iāll ever get.
But then I thought: āI canāt; this canāt be right,
'Cause dreams get burned down overnight.ā
I wasnāt quite prepared to choose
To take that risk, and maybe lose,
And since I couldnāt tell her why,
I hit the road, and never said goodbye.
Itās not exactly the same scenario from that song, but close enough that it hits an unpleasant resonance.
I let an irreplaceable opportunity pass me by. It was tangible in that moment. Everything was perfect, everything was right, and I couldnāt allow the words past my lips. And even though it may have come to nothing if I had, even though it may have slain my daydreams had it not gone the way Iād hoped, itās still unconscionable that I was unwilling to try.
So, now I get to keep my daydreams, most likely at the expense of any possibility of those dreams coming true.
That said, the fiery light of that happy future has been quenched but not extinguished; the embers linger yet. āLook always forward; in last yearās nests, there are no birds this year.ā There may still be another opportunity for this dream, and there will certainly be other dreams.
I will hate myself today, and I will forgive myself tomorrow, and then Iāll start again from the ashes. And I will, I shall, I must do better next time. Because I can, and because I deserve to.
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Iāve had insomnia for most of the week and now am in my third day of chest tightness. Iām taking 500mg GABA at night instead of zinc picolinate and the thoughts do slow. When a chest pain arises I do a 4-7-8 inhale-hold-exhale breathing sequence until it subsides. I donāt sleep throughout the night yet but I stayed awake for a shorter time and woke up earlier.
I will give this two weeks and then go see a doctor if the chest pains persist or anxiety symptoms pile on and intensify.
[ETA 04/04]: the subsiding of chest pains is timed with the addition of GABA in my nocturnal stack. Also, the thoughts arenāt going so fast as to give Lewis Hamilton an inferiority complex.
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Added: having read your other posts now, I hope itās going well, and I hope my contribution does not sound dismissive. Sounds tough and I wish you well with finding your balanced spot. Sleep hygeine is something I have had to address historically and occasionally. Sweet Dreams!
You may have regained something, of which I would be jealous.
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This is fascinating. I do spend time in my āinterior castleā doing affirmations, cognitive reframing or breath exercises inbetween phases. Iād like to get it down to one hour. It was closer to three hours this am because an Emergency Medic vehicle with red lights flashing was parked outside my next-door neighbourās house (sheās 99) at four this morning.
I dropped my diphenhydramine intake by 75% since starting GABA, and will look to either doxylamine succinate, 5-HTP to add to GABA, or pick up more Natural Calm magnesium citrate.
No, your contributions donāt sound dismissive to me at all. Like so much in correcting disorders of the mind and body, experimentation and exploration are needed to arrive at the optimal solution.
ETA: Received recommendation to give glycine a whirl.
ETA 5 Apr: Had my first sleep without diphenhydramine. 12 midnight to 5:08, then 6xx to 8:38 am.
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I drink valerian-added Sleepytime tea, I take calcium and magnesium and zinc picolinate before bed. Most times I stop electronic screen media two hours before lights out. I take melatonin with B6 (pyridoxine). I do not have alcohol or sugar. I stop caffeine intake by 11 am daily.
I wish I had something positive to contribute other than noting that Iāve tried all of those things after years of staring at the ceiling until 2am and then waking up an hour or two later, yet the best the sleep center could come up with was that I had a low threshold to wake and a difficulty to fall asleep even when mentally/physically exhausted.
The doctors were a waste of my time and I got sick of self-experimentation/deprivation. 4 years or so ago, I tried weed, something that I didnāt care for the few times I tried it as a teen. It might be because it just slows me down, but with the right family of strain, I find I can fall asleep fast and stay asleep, waking refreshed in the morning.
I havenāt found the right strain in a few months, and the sleepless nights have returned.
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weed is something Iāve seen suggested on other forums. From what I read if I were to investigate marijuana as a potential aid, I should look for cannabinoids (CBD) and not THC, indicas and not sativa. Iād try an edible or a tincture: I have a friend who uses Rick Simpsonās āPhoenix Tearsā tincture for her anxiety, but I wouldnāt smoke it.
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I found the THC helps with the āfall asleepā portion and the CBD keeps me asleep. One can find CBD in pill form, if you were interested in trying that way. Personally I vape, which avoids some of the coughing and chest tightness but gives me more of the āoomphā than an edible and a more predictable effect (edibles can take a while to kick in, and itās difficult to determine what constitutes a āservingā of the active product). Here in the peoplesā republic of green mountains, thereās no legal market, so Iām at the whims of my providerās provider.
But yes, you would want a indica-heavy breed.
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As I have mentioned to some folks here, last Thursdayās event was a very, very serious grand mal. In the lounge thread where I joked about holding my breath for fifteen minutes, thatās becauseā¦ Wellā¦ I barely took a breath for fifteen minutes. The first few minutes I didnāt breath at all. So why do I bring this up.
I had been āplayingā with supplements that both increase and decrease GABA. Some were prescription, some wereā¦ Experimental cosmonaut supplements (no, really).
What my doc and I figured out via some blood tests was 1) I basically had no electrolytes due to excessive fasting, 2) I was on the one hand depressing intake of GABA, and 3) force feeding GABA through the blood brain barrier via a substance I will not name. Oh, and I had completely stopped drinking, so my central nervous system kicked in high gear for a bit.
The signalling in my brain basically didnāt know what to do, so I let out a scream, my brain literally shut off, and I collapsed. And since I had no salts, zinc, potassium, magnesium, etc. my nervous system was barely able to operate. Thus forgetting how to breath.
So. Be careful with GABA! It can be wonderful, and if you strike a good balance it can be life altering in a good way. But make changes slowly and gradually. I didnāt OD per as, but I encountered, whatās the phrase, negative compound or synergistic effects from the combination of supplements.
If my roommate hadnāt been home, there is a very high probability I wouldnāt be sitting here right now.
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You must know that is both terrifying and damaging to the brain. It reads to me you suffered from hypoxia? Weāre thankful youāre still here.
Iām curious that your lack of electrolytes didnāt manifest in cold extremities? Iām not unsympathetic, either: I had a much lesser yet serious case of vasovagal syncope from lack of electrolytes. I added glycine which is not immediately helping. I took magnesium citrate, put potassium chloride and Himalayan Pink Salt in my water. I may halve my GABA. Iām not taking diphenhydramine and my melatonin intake is 1/2 of what it was.
This morning is not the morning to feed me procedures for program termination sequence replication. Or maybe it is.
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I am gonna go get a CT scan later this month. In another thread I said āThe Eventā gave me super powersāi wasnāt exactly joking. If damage did occur, it occurred to the parts of my brain that were where I was suffering from crippling anxiety. I do feel smarter, more aware, calmer, and better focused. I may be o e of the rare lucky ones where a little hypoxia improved me (still have a damn tremor in my right thumb though).
And Iām back on the correct nutritional wagon.
That plus eating mostly vegetarian (non starchy veg) and an egg or two a day.
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A Redditorās similar experience is what prompted me to try glycine and GABA.
Eggs are ace for choline. Adding much more of them to my diet would do wonders for my nervous system and metabolism.
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Hmm, perhaps I will look at glycine. But no more CCCP or Israeli cosmonaut/pilot supplements for me 
Edit
Ah, just checked, I am getting glycine, 590 mg per day.
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This happened to me after my concussion! All anxiety just feel right out of my head! Just gone! It was glorious! I was such a happy fool! And, it never really truly has come back. I have ānormalā anxiety about events or tasks or chores, but thats just more like list making āI need to go here, do this, email that, etcā - nothing more. Its fucking awesome!
Go team brain injuries can be helpful! 
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Check this out. Iāve basically been a hermit the last half a decade.
Tonight I organized a get together with a bunch of former co-workers after work. Afterwards Iām going on a date 
Tomorrow Iām meeting a friend at Ikea, and we are gonna go shopping for her, and probably grab dinner and a movie after.
Sunday I am gonna go hang in the East Bay with someone I met on Tinder, and see if there is any chemistry. She wants to teach me to sail.
Iām about to head out to Starbucks to work my book, and later tonight Iāll be working on APIs for Canary::Wharf.
And tomorrow Iāll start coordinating the business structure for the winery Iām building.
I still have normal anxiety and depression, but it feels like how I felt in my early twenties. Not my entire thirties.
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Hahah nice!! Sometimes a whack on the head or ā¦ uhā¦ starving some braincells of oxygen is just what we need?
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Three dates in three days with three women?
You sly dog, you.
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