I wanted to tell mine about Cassandra Peterson retiring from Elvira and to see if he likes Ash V. Evil Dead.
15 Likes
Iāve had two of those dreams, but it was long ago, in the first couple of years after my father died.
Itās odd. I donāt usually remember my dreams, but those are stuck in my head, vividly.
The worst part was waking up, realizing that it was all just a dream, and then trying so hard to get back to sleep again and get the dream back.
12 Likes
I find a strange and morbid comfort in the fact that if there is an afterlife, my father the lifelong atheist is pretty cheesed off right now. I like to think Godās given him a nice dark room where he can lie down and pretend to not exist for a few millennia.
15 Likes
I dunno. Iām of the firm belief that nothing justifies a person being tortured, and itās become pretty clear that solitary confinement is torture.
6 Likes
Whenever I have that dream Iām feeling dejected and abandoned all day,
11 Likes
Hugs to all of you.
15 Likes
I had a dream where my younger brother casually appeared, and I told him āyāknow, your wife and I thought you were dead. Does she know youāre not?ā āWait, you two BELIEVED I was DEAD? Howād that happen?ā "I dunno, maybe touching your corpse, being left on my own to speak a language I donāt know with your in-laws, doing some bones-in-urns-with-chopsticks ceremony after you got cremated?"
Thereās more to the dream, but it got gruesome and horrific and as a result I no longer have high-glycemic fruits after dinner.
16 Likes
My fianceeās dog just died, on her fatherās birthday, and her parents were taking care of the dogs. And I canāt give her a hug because the Atlantic Ocean is in the way.
21 Likes
I just called the IVF clinic to tell them we wonāt be using the embryo they have stored for us. It was a really difficult call. I know weāve made the right decision, another child wouldnāt be good for me, physically, mentally and emotionally. Even if we did decide to try, I know I never want to go through any from of IVF or embryo transfer again.
Yet I am still crying over a embryo.
Yes, itās silly, but I think still understandable.
I guess you just have to grieve. Even if there was never really much of a life.
34 Likes
Has it worn off yet?
Or was that just an excuse?
5 Likes
Thereās nothing silly about it. In a way it is very like a miscarriage, which is a very emotionally painful experience for most people. You donāt have to believe anything doctrinaire about personhood, but youāre saying goodbye to a tiny bit of life that came from you, and youāre simultaneously saying goodbye to a whole world of possibilities that canāt happen.
Even knowing that itās the right decision for you, how could it not be painful? Allow yourself to grieve as you are doing.
(And thank you for trusting in us and sharing your grief with us.)
18 Likes
19 years ago today for my Mother.
That is an incomprehensible amount of timeā¦
12 Likes
Not for me. (17 years and six months and two days is not far from 19 years.)
10 Likes
I want all the bad news, because today is already so fucked.
My car mechanic called, and I have a head gasket issue. It would cost $800-$1000 to fix. The car is (with a fixed head gasket) not worth it. I cannot afford to make payments on another car, period. I have two internships that pay exactly diddly (wouldnātcha know it, my funding for one of them fell through), and no paying job.
I strictly speaking donāt need a car in town. Have bicycle, will travel. HOWEVERā¦ if I get the paying internship I really want (and which could do great things for my career) Iāll have to commute to another city daily. Otherwise, I guess I canāt take it. But all of that is counting rotten eggs that havenāt at all hatched.
Meanwhile, I have a giant fucking sword of Damocles above my head in another matter that Iām waiting to see a lawyer to resolve, and I have several balls in the air that Iām waiting to hear back on that can go either really well or really badly. While the start of this semester has gone relatively well (it always starts slow) Iām taking classes traditionally considered some of the hardest among my degree requirements, and based on this melange of shit, Iām expecting things will not go swimmingly.
22 Likes
According to my grungy hippie cheapskate auto mechanic (everybody needs one of those!) a leaking head gasket is not always crucial to fix right away; it depends just how bad the leak is. Itās not good, but if your car isnāt worth that much, you may be able to just continue to drive it as is until it keels over. It means youāve got to keep track of the oil level and keep feeding it extra oil, but that might be the simplest thing to do, and if itās already on its last legs it may not matter that the rate of engine wear is accelerated.
Disclaimer: I suck at maintaining cars, though I am still managing to keep a 14 year old Corolla limping along, barely.
Good luck on all the other stuff. That whole unpaid internship thing is so bogus! I canāt believe this has become an academic/professional expectation.
10 Likes
My mechanic said the same thing. I just wish I knew how long it had. Iāll ask him more questions when I go to pick it up.
Reminds me of:
16 Likes
Mine described my car as āsee, this car is like an 85 year old guy with clogged arteries - it might keep going for years, or it could keel over any day.ā
Or as another meme has it, āExposure is what you can die of.ā
12 Likes
Been there with our 1996 Mazda truck.
Am there right now with my 1998 Toyota RAV4L with 182,300 miles on it.
We did a little experiment on the pickup truck. We got a bottle of Steel Seal (which was something like $70 some years agoā¦ I see the price has gone up).
We followed the directions on Steel Seal, exactly. We were able to get a few more hundred miles out of the truck once it was clear that deploying the sealant was pretty much our only option if we wanted to keep it running.
Thereās Barās Leaks, Blue Devil, CRC, K-Seal, they are all touted as head gasket sealers. Ask around or do the meta-research. We only had one vehicle to experiment on with such an unknown.
So far with our Toyota, Iām adding antifreeze once a day, topping it off and trying hard not to idle in traffic in the hottest part of the day. Itās not ideal. Keep an eye on your engine temperature gauge when your driving. Keep a case of oil, a full jug of pre-mixed coolant, maybe a fire extinguisher handy in the car. But you knew all this.
Breathe.
Try not to think about how bad itās going to be, if you can.
If you are willing, in the mood to experiment, consider that itās possible things could go better than you expect.
Youāre almost done with your degree. The end is in sight.
Do you have any allies? Friends? People in your network who may be able to help out?
Sometimes, people go out of town for a while and you can borrow their cars (after you set up the insurance coverages with your own insurance underwriterāitās a big deal to get it right).
12 Likes
14 years is old? Uh oh.
9 Likes
