This morning she was talking about how excited she was for our vacation in January and possibly moving in together in a few months. This evening I get broken up with by telephone.
There goes several months of me bending over backwards for what turned out to be empty promises! She ‘hopes we can be friends’, but I don’t think she gets that what few problems i had with the relationship were serious ones about how she treats people - exemplified perfectly by her telling me she didn’t want to have to break up with me by phone - over the phone.
I live 20 minutes away. Sometimes you just have to wish them well and lose their number.
People get skittish the more serious things get IME. I don’t know if it’s commitment phobia, or the stress of having to be in relationship mode 24/7, or what…
When I took a deep breath it became obvious this was a lucky escape. There were a lot of big promises with minimal deliveries, there were other unhealthy relationships in her life that she held on to and defended, and there were some serious ego bruisings and some devalue/discard behavior, and then recently the gaslighting began. And then it really began. Just last week I was the best thing that ever happened to her. Her mom and her pastor adore me as the best thing that has happened to her maybe ever. Today I get dumped by phone. Nope, sorry. Not looking to encourage or enable that sort of behavior. Can’t give it the time of day.
Sometime in all of this I realized I’ve seen this movie before, I don’t stand a chance, and really I’m just feeling that it was another level of put-down to do it by phone. I can’t imagine any response that includes not burning bridges. I’m doing what i can to not feel a bit traumatized by the whole thing. My emotional health matters to me, and there are so many ways to wind a thing down without drama and trauma. It’s clear to me that i don’t have a partner in wanting to wind this down peacefully or in any friendly respectful way.
So, I gotta respect me, and it wouldn’t be very respectful of me to go ask for another serving of gaslight.
Take a moment to mourn the future you’d been planning with her, and then allow yourself to realize that, if you’ve described her accurately, that future probably wouldn’t have come to pass the way you’d imagined it anyway.
Being single sucks, but it’s better than being in a relationship with the wrong person.
It’s not appropriate for this thread, but I had a favourable result in my eviction hearing, which you might have read about above. Read about it in the Victory thread.
Exactly this, @AcerPlatanoides. This was an end to what might have been a terrible waste of your time.
Better to get things over with and done, sometimes.
I can safely say she is not in a place to hold up her end of the relationship she said she wanted, and that she had serious boundary issues. She wasn’t crazy, quite possibly on the spectrum and just reeeeeeeealy selfish at the end of the day.
My mom got a second opinion finally and back surgery is not an option. That’s what first doctor’s opinion was too. It’s too risky with her host of issues – in no particular order it’s Parkinson’s, rheumatoid arthritis, scoliosis, and osteoporosis. She’s 68. The doctor recommended some PT and returning to her pain mgmt doctor for stronger meds. That’s all they can do. I can’t see her living for another 5 years – she nearly died last year from sepsis. Very close call. Her mother is 98 but just old, not ill. I am just hoping my mom outlives her. Having to tell my grandmother (fully with it mentally) that her daughter died would be soul crushing.
Today my cat, who somehow survived 16+ years so far, decided to possibly eat a Lego. 2 hours at the vet and $400+ later, they tell us they don’t see anything on the x-rays (might be too small), but he IS constipated…
I told my wife I need to change my living will to say that if I am dumb enough to eat a lego when I am old, don’t take me to the doctor.
First … that sucks. But on to my real reason for replying as I am too curious for my own good. How is it that you think it possibly ate a lego? I mean … seems like it wouldn’t enter your mind at all, or something you’d know for sure one way or the other.
Well, I was still at work. My daughter saw him by my son’s extremely messy Lego table and saw him eat something that she was “pretty sure” was a Lego. Apparently, as a cat is wont to do, stared directly at her as she yelled at him to spit it out. He then acted like her was trying to throw something up and was “silent meowing” (and this is normally a very talkative cat), so we took him to the vet emergency clinic.
Apparently, if the Lego is small enough, x-rays won’t pick it up… so if it was a Lego, it isn’t stuck in his throat, but I wonder where else it could potentially get lodged and cause problems.
if it was a tiny one then most likely get horked up. we have to be good about cleaning up small bits of crinkly plastic wrap as the burmese just loves to chew/eat them. then hork them up later.
Wait one week for a goddamned telephone interview to start intake proceedings for long term health insurance my dad paid on for years. They called the wrong number, spent 45 mins giving me the runaround about who I am supposed to speak with, and now the time slot is up and I have to wait another week to fucking talk to someone on the phone. Nice work New York Life, nice work.
Excuse me, I’m going to go scream into the void until I break it.
At least I get to speak with them on my birthday, so that’ll be fun.
