I advise not going to that source for any future advice.
So, you’re human. Have you met people? We are a variety of problems.
And a pretty intolerant bunch at that.
For someone to tell you you are your mistakes, that is objectification, fixing you in time and reminding you of who you were then, and how you felt then. Which was terrible, and they know it. Refusing to recognize growth or change in a living thing that is right in front of someone is pretty toxic.
It probably feels crappy. You can’t stop them, or change them, but there are some resources out there to help it not feel so miserable. Codependancy and boundaries and all that stuff. Also, if they do this in order to change the subject, it’s pretty unkind, possibly a bit abusive.
Same boat (sorta), Was forced to take a HSA plan last year since all the other plans that offered FSA became way too expensive. I dislike HSA because I know my family will use the FSA funds every year with normal doctor visits. Well, last year my wife needed 2 major surgeries and since HSA is paid into over a year and not available immediately we quickly racked up some medical debt. Not to mention that the plan covers NOTHING until a certain out of pocket threshold is met. What really gets under my skin is last year I had to pay for the privilege of that shitty plan, this year my employer’s contribution is covering the cost (which is great!) but the plan is almost exactly the same (besides the out of pocket expenses going up). So the insurance company realized what a steaming pile the plan was and dropped the price, but I had to pay for that pile all last year.
Well me though I probably have undiagnosed ADD but I manage okay with only a morning dose of coffee… and coffee is a brain drug.
edit wait i missed able bodied… maybe when i was 18, not so much anymore.
That is quite the qualifying list you have there. I was doing well until I got to neurotypical. I haven’t been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, though no one has ever thought to try. Both other siblings are though so there’s that.
Somehow realizing the adversity that so many people have faced makes me despair for the chance of reaching anyone who hasn’t.
Wait, no adversity whatsoever? I’m not sure who those folks even are.
I pay $1500/month for my own health insurance (self employed by choice) and then any time I need ANYTHING I pay OUT THE ASS. I won’t go into details but basically I am left asking “why the fuck do I even have insurance?” It’s basically catastrophic insurance. Fuckers.
I pay about €300 and my wife pays about the same, and almost everything’s free (some medication costs us a €5 or €10 fee, but we wouldn’t have to pay if we needed surgery, for example). The kids are insured under me.
Seriously though, there are a number of things that have happened to my family over the last while that would have been much worse without a safety net. In turn, this safety net has allowed us to pick ourselves up quicker and be less of a drain on the system in the longer term. I don’t see how large scale debt helps anyone but bankers. To each according to their need, from each according to their ability.
I know it’s quite a list. I don’t mean to be picking on anyone. It’s just that if you asked me whether people could arrive at sympathy/empathy merely through seeing other people and saying, “That’s not fair!” or whether we are so limited as a species in our capacity to imagine that we need to have had similar experiences ourselves. Ultimately everyone faces adversity in some form or another, so I guess it’s more of a senseless philosophical worry than a real world one.
Don’t discount the very real possibility of being TAUGHT to think that way. Religion can operate in this manner, if it’s not the we-hate-others or no-prosperity-means-you-suck type: “there but for the grace of God go I” used to be well known and understood in our society, at all socio-economic levels. Also parents, teachers, local community members…but we’ve gotten to a point where adults are never supposed to speak to any child but their own, only a specific set of (hateful) values is allowed to be promoted in the public arena, and educating oneself about the larger world is suspect. The flip side to “other=bad” is that me/us=good". Not an empathetic way to look at the world.
