One you can drive blind, I hope.
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Oh j, I’m sorry that I missed this and I’m sorry for your loss and sorrow. You have all my condolences.
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Same here, @japhroaig… I have no words. I am sorry for your loss.
Here’s a hug for you.
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Martin Starr probably does okay (his character on Silicon Valley does very well).
When I was dating, I always thought glasses were a plus rather than a negative. My husband wears thick glasses, and I met him long before people thought glasses were cool.
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I get asked a lot whether my glasses are ‘real or just for looks’.
What is it about glasses that make the wearer more attractive to you?
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Time for you to grab the reins and turn the narrative.
‘They’re so I can look. Duh, two eyes! Get some fashion and some sense!’
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I’m just kind of numb at this point. This is the last time I get to see my house (it’s being sold because of the divorce), my brother is gone, my step dad had a stroke two weeks ago, my dad had a stroke a week ago and his cancer is back., and my job here is to provide emotional support to others.
Perhaps some good will come out of all this. I’m closer to my parents than I have been in years. My ex is finally taking charge of her own happiness, and I wish her the best despite what she did.
My mother who was taking care of my brother no longer has to live in fear. His death isn’t a good thing, but mixing schizophrenia, meth, and alcohol–and not taking his medication–unleashed extremely violent outbursts regularly. We all lived in fear of an even worse phone call.
He deserved to heal and be a complete human. He chose a different path, and there was literally nothing we could do to stop him.
There was a good, kind person lurking in there. But that side of his personality got shoved down by his demons. For me that is the most tragic part.
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Your job is to help yourself heal. That you are taking on the task of providing emotional support is certainly appreciated, but your real task should be you as well. And it sounds like you’re doing a good job of it. Acceptance is a difficult task, it’s a lot easier to do other things.
Let me know if I can be of any help.
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Talking it out helps immensely. Going through grief and loss is part of the human condition , it’s something we all share. But it makes me feel… quite existential to know I’m likely gonna be literally the one standing in my family.
This is gonna sound like a whine, because it is. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
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I suspect he was lucky to have YOU as a brother. That kind of understanding and the implicit forgiveness built-in to it isn’t the easiest way to feel.
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Hay, @anon61221983 , I need more gifs! Meet me in the library!
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It never does, buddy. It never does.
You’re not whining, you’re just observin’. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.
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Yup, you should look into alternate types of contact lenses then. Remember I mentioned that I have 4 different prescriptions between my two lenses? Welcome to middle age!
Contact design and range of availability changes pretty rapidly. I’m in an entirely new type this year, which wasn’t available at my (also very bad) eyesight level last year. It’s really worth looking into. I hate feeling helpless when it comes to not being able to see properly, so I can imagine it’s the same for you.
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I know this wasn’t directed at me, but since I’m also a woman I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind the question being considered in general.
Personally, I like the dichotomy between public and private: someone who wears glasses in public but takes them off at least sometimes while relaxing at home, or conversely someone who wears contacts when out in public but changes into glasses in the evening at home. It’s the intimacy of knowing someone when they’re truly comfortable around you.
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Nope nope nope nope nope.
Your job is to commiserate and grieve together. You are not solely responsible for the emotional well-being of others, unless you are their parent and they are still very young children.
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I honestly don’t know. Everyone in my family wears/wore glasses, so maybe it’s a familiar/familial thing? It may be that I have a nurtured bias? I didn’t trust people with perfect vision?
eta: I wear contacts in public, and glasses at home. If I were a man, @anon67050589 would love me!
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well thats literally an illustration of the peter principle in action
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My mother just lost her son, and I’ve finally come back into her life after a decade. I don’t want to sound too grandiose, but I have saved her from years of grief. And it all comes back to the fact that when I was at my lowest, she was the one that helped me. So do unto others, and that’s my job.
My fam is Batshit Crazy, but they have selflessly been there for me and my bro. This is the time to give back.
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I hear you. Really. But you’re in a complex state of grief right now, losing so much in short succession. You need to not let your own well run dry trying to help others, no matter how much they’ve helped you in the past. The situation isn’t analogous. Think of it this way: would your mother want you to go as low as that other time, or maybe even lower, because you were too concentrated on helping HER? (That’s not how good moms work.) Of course you need to be there, supportive, etc. Just don’t ignore your own needs in the process.
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I understand. We have partially had this conversation before–helping people helps me. As an analogy, I’m a dog, or a horse. I am healthiest when I have a job and goals. That’s why when my mum told me not to come up, I realized in a new York second she actually meant the opposite. So I jumped in the car. And it has been a difficult time, but we both are healing.
I will show love, compassion, and selfless acts to my loved ones till my last breath. Cuz that’s how I roll.
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