I’m a scientist raised by an engineer in a family of engineers, so I don’t have this same exact problem of science denialism in my family, but outside the family I find out what they do for a living and promptly show it the same level of respect they show scientists doing science. I figure what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, and I find they either huff off or change their tone rather rapidly. Either way, I get what I want.
In your case, if he is driving trollies you, the same rules that apply to the Internet apply to real life, don’t feed the trolley unless you’re baiting a line to trolley back, and the latter is only attempted in the direst of circumstances/boredom. The way I see it, if you’re not having as much fun with him as he’s clearly having with you, then:
(I normally reserve posting that video for trollies, but I don’t mean it that way with regards to you, I just really like that video and wanted an excuse to post it, so I hope you don’t take it as animus directed at you.)
Either way, I wish you better luck in the future, or at least less aggravation. But what I’ve found in arguments with my family about other things, is that it helps to adopt a certain Zen about it, by which I mean a sense that your feelings about the situation, however valid, come from within and can thusly be controlled and mitigated. You need to leave him with the sense that you haven’t lost the argument, it’s just that the argument hasn’t ended, and possibly never will, and above all that this eternal state doesn’t bother you in the least. You don’t say any of this, you just smile knowingly and nod at the end of “arguments,” and they will always know that just because you’ve lost interest, it doesn’t imply assent of any kind. It can be aggravating, but you can’t let it rise to the surface. You need to express greater stoicism and assuredness than they, because what’s obvious to me (and I’m just gleaning this off how you describe your interactions, I could be wrong) is that they derive pleasure from your reaction. Learn from Pavlov: You need to make it unpleasant, or at very least, unrewarding, to trolley you. You’ll likely discover, to some disappointment, that the argument itself was never that important, and that needling you was the whole point all along. There’s something about the way that you describe your interactions that comes across as being deeply mean-spirited on their end. Nothing about that outgoing meanness is within your control, you can only control how receive and dissipate it, and it seems to me that they want a reaction. So don’t give them one. They get a kick out of their opinion mattering so much to you, so make it the least important thing that could ever cross your mind.
This is a lot of words to say that as hard as it is, you sound like you could benefit from a strong dose of not giving a fuck.
