Gentleman angry over sap cuts down tree, which falls on his house

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Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/08/26/gentleman-angry-over-sap-cuts.html
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It went from “funny” to “sad” in just a few words.

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I don’t know what kind it was, but we had a tree when I was a kid that spat huge brown gobs of tree-snot all over the place, all summer long. I have to say my sympathies lie with the ad-hoc lumberjack, at least up to the baseball part.

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He looks like a homeless Seth Green.

Mazzarella, er?

Sounds like he should have just left the tree provolone.

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I’m not sure which building that is, but I used to drive on Oak St an awful lot. Bwah-hah-hah!

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Still, it was a small price to pay to protect the finish on his chocolate brown 1977 Ford Granada. Instead of all this, he would’ve just moved it, but chocolate brown 1977 Ford Granadas don’t do that.*

 

  • Take that, chocolate brown 1977 Ford Granadas!
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This is why stun guns, the old fashioned kind that don’t shoot darts, are lousy self defense weapons. You have to be too close to the attacker to use them. (They do seem to be “great” offensive weapons for cops to use against restrained people, though.)

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Yeah, I’m guessing he’s not known for his impulse control.

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He fought the log and the log won…

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It’s perfectly legal for him to cut the branches hanging over his property. Someone else’s tree? Not so much.

Also - learn how to take down a damn tree idjit. It’s not all that hard.

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But it was a rental. He’s just not the sharpest tack in the box.

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Got that sap on the concrete blocks too!

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Is there any other kind?

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If it was a rental, why did he have a chainsaw handy…? There may be another story afoot.

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Until I saw your comment I read “The neighbour pulled out a shotgun” and was slightly confused by the article after that!

He “pulled out a shotgun?” from where?! And the other guy started to hit him with a bat after that?!

Stun gun makes much more sense! =oD

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You’d snap too if you had to endure cheese jokes every day.

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In a ode to the classic headline STICKS NIX HICK PIX:

Sapling’s Sap Slaps Sap.

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god damn it.

I had a Seth Green joke all ready too.

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