He should have posted it to himself.
On the unwarranted assumption that a neo-Nazi having a Flock Of Seagulls hairdo is not an enhancement to the charge, why else would a $6 theft be a felony?
I was wondering why the felony charge, here. Turns out that in Texas, any theft is elevated to a felony if you have two or more prior theft convictions. As a first or second offense, this would have been a misdemeanor.
OK we gotta get some âHot Pocketsâ quotes here:
âWhat was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, âHey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.ââ
At last a face to put to those who are superior, now I get it.
Iâm assuming that âTexasâ is vital context when it comes to explaining that; because $6 is crazy low for felony charges.
As always, though, why do the people who are so enthusiastic about the âwhite raceâ always seem to spend their time making it look so bad?
Heâs quite literally got âhot pocketsâ.
Someone alert Jim Gaffigan!
So. Conflicted. Right. Now.
I thought in Texas, thieves got their hands cut off? Or maybe I was thinking of someplace else.
Itâs funny that thatâs âa police matterâ, since it was the store and not the would-be customers who removed the DVDs from the premises.
I remember when they called those âstore detectivesâ. Of course I also remember when Hot Pockets didnât cost anything, because they didnât exist.
And that is how it is possible to end up on Death Row or at least Life Imprisonment for something as stupid as stealing $6-worth of junk food.
Thatâs not a hairdo.
Itâs a hairdonât.
Might have been either his two prior theft convictions or the fact that heâd been arrested at the same place for much the same thing the day before and been given a âcriminal trespass warningâ, which I can only assume means âif you come back, youâll be subject to arrest for criminal trespassâ.
Interesting how two days ago people were shocked about the story told by DJ Esco about the old man sitting in a Dubai jail indefinitely for stealing a candy bar. Sometimes, medieval-style jurisdiction is closer than you think.
Although the ideological affiliation of the accused helps soften the blow for me personally.
All he wanted was a PepsiâŚ
I wonder if his first two theft convictions were for food?
His membership in the Aryan Brotherhood is abhorrent, but if heâs regularly stealing small quantities of food, Iâd hazard that what he needs more than prison time is a job.
Edit: I see that @SqualusAcanthias already expressed a similar idea.
