Funnily enough when I read the title I thought “I bet this was in Germany”.
One thing that isn’t a stereotype at all is our love of sausages.
When I lived in Iceland and visited the continent for the first time in a year or so my (non-German) friends were amused that the first thing I did was to buy sausages.
Damn, I want a sausage now.
It was the best of crimes. It was the wurst of crimes.
We need to give the robber some sympathy. He grew up in the school of hard knocks(wurst).
I wouldn’t categorize that in the “hard” variety…wonder why they’re being so cagey.
My first thought was Currywurst because, dang, if I was robbing someone and saw a delicious Currywurst sitting there, I’d probably take a bite. But that’s also not of the hard variety. At least the way I interpret it. 
You don’t mince words.
Well, it’s not Streichwurst, so categorizing it as some sort of Hartwurst, admittedly one of the softer variants, seems okay to me.
I wonder if taking the bite out of the wurst was a worse crime than the robbery? As in, is it possible there is some obscure wurst-protection law on the books that forbids champing on someone else’s wurst and it carries a greater sentence than robbery?
Frank-ly, I wouldnt be surprised.
I think Fleischwurst would fall under Brühwurst but not Hartwurst, which, as I understand it, is reserved for dried and/or smoked sausages (your Salamis or Landjäger or smoked Mettenden)
Apparently, Hartwurst doesn’t actually exist. Any Hartwurst you have encountered so far may well just have been a figment of your fevered imagination.
There isn’t a definition in the current (BAnz AT 29.10.2020 B4, GMBl 45/2020 S. 971) Leitsätze des Deutschen Lebensmittelbuchs für Fleisch und Fleischerzeugnisse. l 45/2020 S. 971) anyway.
The differentiation runs along the categories of Rohwürste, Brühwürste and Kochwürste, with several subcategories.
Who would have thunk?
BTW, “Wurstwaren” (Würste und wurstartige Erzeugnisse) sind bestimmte, unter Verwendung von geschmackgebenden und/oder technologisch begründeten Zutaten zubereitete schnittfeste oder streichfähige Gemenge aus zerkleinertem Fleisch, Fettgewebe sowie sortenbezogen teilweise auch Innereien.
Definitely the food thing - I once came home to find my house strewn with orange peels as the thief had been peeling it while walking around the apartment. It was from a box of Mandarins, which I ended up throwing out.
I have read that the ‘taking a dump’ thing is mostly because robbery is terrifying and their bowels insist upon it. That is mitigated somewhat if your criminal is an opiate user, because that stops you up.
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