Giant snapping turtle vs. pineapple

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I’ve seen one of those IRL. Some sort of alligator snapping turtle in a river those were not supposed to be in. Had points all over it shell and it gave off the impression of being unbelievably old and ugly looking. Yes, I paddled right up to it to see this incredible turtle. No, it did not bite. At the same time it did not retreat.

They found one of these in the sewers of Sydney years ago.

For a minute I’d say Australia, but I’ve seen snapping turtles probably 70% of that size around NC.

There’s this word that is about perfect to describe the disposition of a snapping turtle:


It’s always amazing to see animals that are so good at what they do that they haven’t had to evolve. Like sharks. Or crocodiles. Or these.
Also: terrifying.


Yeaaaah, these turtles are terrifying. Not that the odds of being attacked by them are high, but… just look at it… it’s so angry D:

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smart turtle

I grew up along the Red River and these guys are pretty common there. They are aggressive and will bite anything that moves close enough. They are actually protected in some states. I’d like to invite those states to come visit Texas and take away some of ours.

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You know, I don’t want them to be hurt, but I also don’t want them anywhere near me.

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Pretty sure that guy lady knows @Falcor.

Thanks for the correction, @Falcor!


Shit like this is why I will never engage in noodling.


This woman. Morla is female.


Most of the time, sure. As soon as you seen one in your back yard where children play, you kinda loose your compassion for them or at least that one.

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Fuck yeah.

Easily the scariest reptile, imo. Much more intimidating than a snake or crocodile / alligator / caiman / that type of thing / komodo dragon.

Nonsense. Time for them to learn some respect for nature!

I’m more cautious around common snappers than alligator snapping turtles (they’re unrelated). As the video shows, alligator snapping turtles have relatively short neck, while a common snapper has a neck nearly the length of its shell. Alligator snappers actually tend to have a nicer disposition (they can rely a little more on their armor than the softer shelled common snappers, who have to rely entirely on attitude).

It is a common misconception that common snapping turtles may be safely picked up by the tail with no harm to the animal; in fact, this has a high chance of injuring the turtle, especially the tail itself and the vertebral column.[17] Lifting the turtle with the hands is difficult and dangerous. Snappers can stretch their necks back across their own carapace and to their hind feet on either side to bite. Also, their claws are sharp and capable of inflicting significant lacerations. When they feel stressed, they release a musky odor from behind their legs.

I was taught very carefully to never pick up a snapper, even by the tail, but I should caution that there’s not really a safe place to touch them. I was trying to get one to move out of the middle of a road once (rednecks will intentionally try to run over and kill anything they see on a road), and found a three foot branch on the side that I used to poke the snapper in the butt. It leapt in the air (to waist height in my memory, but definitely well off the ground), spun 180°, and very nearly got me with a full neck extension.


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