Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/05/31/ouch-tiktoker-tries-to-pet-a-snapping-turtle-and-guess-what-happens-next-video.html
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The word “turtle” leads many into a false sense of security. These bastards are fast. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
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She’s lucky the turtle let go. The li’l bastards are omnivorous, and I have heard from friends about them biting through fishing rods.
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“I didn’t expect a turtle to bite my hand!” sobs woman who voted for Turtles Biting People’s Hands Party.
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Although props to her for admitting she deserved it.
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I mean, it’s right there in the name.
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We’ve rescued quite a few snapping turtles from the highway near us.
We know to pick them up from behind and far back on the shell.
Even so, it’s amazing how far their head can reach toward their back.
When we came home yesterday there was a big turtle walking down the middle of our road, our neighbors don’t always pay attention so we coaxed it of to the side and it went on it’s way back to the marsh.
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'k, I’ll bite…
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That’s what the turtle said — HAH!
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We have stormwater management ponds around here that have accumulated all sorts of wildlife and are of course a magnet for the migratory waterfowl (mostly geese but also ducks, cormorants and the occasional swan). And, apparently, snapping turtles. One evening, just around dusk, I spotted a tremendous thrashing in the water of one of these ponds. It was a bit hard to see but it looked like a duck being attacked by something - I suspect it was a snapping turtle, because I can’t imagine what else around here could do so.
In any case, the duck disappeared and did not resurface. 
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I was gonna say, you gotta be cafeful even doing that because they can reach back surprisingly far!
Several years ago i stopped on a 2 lane road to help a big one finish crossing it. I booped its back with my foot and that prompted it to move. Didn’t want it to get run over.
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“I’ll have one of those crunchy pies and make it snappy”
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This monster, a cute monster, was on the side of the road on our way to a job early this morning. He was pointed toward the road, there’s marsh on both sides of a 50mph road. We stuck around for a bit to make sure it wasn’t on a missions to get to the other side.
“We don’t even care whether or not we care.”
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I usually poke 'em in the butt with a stick until they get annoyed and lumber away. I keep hoping one will retract into its shell, fire its rockets, and spin away into the air, but I’m always disappointed.
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