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Woo hoo! Thanks, that is great to hear.
Suck on that, asshole Trumpkins!
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That is awesome! I can personally attest to the height vs. mosquito issue. We live in a 2-story, and thereās a noticeable difference between hanging out on the ground level porch vs. 2nd story. The Professor sounds like a cool person.
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Countdown to CROWN Day on July 3rd:
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This movie has been around for a while but I saw it for the first time at the OMNI theater at the Museum of Science in Boston this past weekend. Captain America narrating and dogs doing amazing things ā whatās not to like?
Though at the risk of bringing a little bit of a downer into the thread, I wonder if Halo is involved in the search & rescue in the building that collapsed in Miami. 
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Heard about this on our local NPR affiliate, and this young woman is such a gem. We need 1,000 more like her, and I hope Girl Scouts everywhere get inspired to look around and see how their core competencies can benefit people who need help.
ETA: WTF:
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I canāt tell you how many times Iāve looked at a young Black girlās hair and thought āshe has a white adoptive momā and sure enough, thatās exactly the issue.
The lack of awareness about cultural differences in general are astonishing. They really believe that they can take a child from a very different community (or country), raise them in an all-white suburb, and somehow there will be blue birds singing and unicorn ice cream for everyone. Itās maddening.
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Iād be interested in seeing how thatās made.
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Ah, OK. I was thinking ground-up unicorns. This is . . . better?
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I promise you, no live unicorns are harmed in the making of their ice cream.
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Ah, good. OK.
One time I came into the office Christmas party and there was an overwhelming āChristmas smellā from several different types of candles, all their scents competing for dominance. Without thinking I said, out loud, āGod, it smells like someone ground up a Christmas elf and set it on fire.ā I tell ya, that sort of thing really dampens the party mood.
ETA: Iām not sure why it showed one edit as soon as I posted this. [Now two when I save this one]. This has happened a couple times in the past week or soāa new reply shows one edit, even though I hadnāt gone back to edit. Perhaps @orenwolf knows?
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The system automatically removes quotes if you quote the entire post directly above you.
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The Summer Games Done Quick Online 2021 videogame speedrun marathon is next week, noon July 4th through early on the morning of the 11th. It benefits Doctors Without Borders / MĆ©decins Sans FrontiĆØres. Last summerās SGDQ Online raised $2.3 million for DWB / MSF and hopefully this SGDQ will beat it.
There are some cute and encouraging games, in particular Nintendogs is being run Monday morning EDT and Untitled Goose Game (100% coop) is being run Wednesday night EDT. Even if you donāt want to wake up at 5 in the morning to watch cute virtual puppies the videos usually show up on YouTube a couple days to weeks later.
I canāt judge them.
I will not judge them.
This is not my way.1
I am not willing to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
I do not mean I forgive or forget the damage and violence especially against children in particular.
But there are plenty of people who are not bad, who are trying hard, and are doing good, on balance. I want to recognize them.
Itās important to find out how these kids feel about their foster parents or adoptive parents. Are they safe and loved? Will their parents let them lead, and grow with them to understand what is important to their kids and support that?
Sometimes, there is simply no other human who will step in to help when help is desperately needed.
What to do when imperfect help is offered, and there are no other options?
I know other peopleās choices are not mine.
Their way is not my way.
Iāve seen many kinds of families in my 50+ years years on this planet.
None are perfect.
Some happy.
Some healthy.
Most of them tryāat least from what I seeāto be loving humans supporting young vulnerable humans who have had to survive hard scary life events through no fault of their own.
I am filled with hope when I see happy healthy kids.
Perhaps this sounds simple-minded and trite.
Iām ok with that.
Happy healthy kids a miracle.
They are the conditio sine qua non for a positive, livable future.
There must be a million ways to raise happy healthy kids.
I believe love and respect are at the core of every one of these ways.
(Sometimes the only way a parent finds out if she did a good enough job is about 10 or 20 years after starting the process. I am getting feedback whether I did an ok job even now.)
In some cases an all-white suburb may be the best a parent can do.
Perhaps that kind of neighborhood is where her allies, friends, family, neighbors are located.
I would hope they would realize that their way is not the only way, or the best way, whatever their all-white suburb culture tells them.
At the moment, I find myself living in a very-nearly-all-white (but for me! or maybe one more) neighborhood as I write this.
As a parent, I needed the help of friends and neighbors plenty of times. Parenting is the hardest hard exhausting work I have ever done, and Iāve been working for pay since I was ten years old. I am grateful for The Helpers.
Yes.
And.
I am so grateful for anyone who works to expand her knowledge and awareness.
It is a tonic to my spirit when I see it.
I have been humbled over and over by my own ignorance.
As I get older, I find plenty of my own ignorance to cringe about, even if Iāve traveled in Europe, Asia, Central America, and speak several languages. Even if I was raised in a multi-cultural, multi-lingual, multi-racial/ethnic household. These days, I am just making different mistakesāat least I am not making the same ignorant mistakes twice. Every day, I try to wake up a little bit more.2
Donāt let this stuff make you crazy.
If you can, if you are willing, acknowledge the good where you can find it.
Life, in my experience, has a few metaphorical blue birds in it, but life is imperfection and impermanence to me anyway.
We begin from wherever we are.
Itās the only place we can start.
Ignorance.
I hope and pray for insightful, loving parents for all children in all places and all times, and for their courage to change and grow. I have seen my share of children and grown children who did not have such parents, and I see the unhealed damage goes on to hurt others. I shudder to imagine our human future if we canāt break this cycle.
Let there be compassion for all of us humans as we reclaim our humanity in whatever culture, in whatever forms that make us happy and healthy. I have to work on this every day; I struggle every day. I wish it gets easier.
The dominator culture3 some of us find ourselves in tells us compassion is for suckers.
I believe nothing is farther from the truth than that.
That culture some of us now find ourselves in doesnāt reward us for waking up, seeing injustices, working for a better world, sitting with people in their pain, holding space for people to breathe and learn at their own speeds.
I have withdrawn my consent from that culture.
I will resist as much as I can.
I try hard remember what my psychotherapist said to me so many years ago, to get out of that āJudging Mindā mode. This is different from ābeing so open-minded my brains fall out.ā
I have a lot of work on myself left to do before I die.
I can look back though, and notice I am a different human than I was: more appreciative and grateful for allies, friends, and the brave brave people who are doing hard work, including the hard work of raising kids who need help ASAP, from wherever they can find it, hopefully from healthy whole fellow good humans.
These days I hunger to see the good and the beauty wherever I can, because I fully know how utterly temporary, and how nourishing, these are. I am grateful to be reminded people are capable of good and often choose to do it.
I am grateful for this thread, which supports that.
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I am mixed āraceā myself. [Race itself being a myth.] Multi-ethnic? Not sure what the current term in use is these days. I donāt think itās important to me.
Among other things, I identify as part-Chinese, and I look it.
I have lost count of the number of times I have watched Asian girl-children adopted by white couples and wondered what future they have together. In them, I see a piece of myself. I hope for the best, of course, and wish them well.
Both of my parents came from countries that had world wars inside their borders, where millions of people were killed. Both ran away from danger, chaos and Jah Knows what else to come to the U.S. and start over. It wasnāt blue birds and unicorn ice cream at our house either, and they were my natural parents.
ETA: clarifier, grammar
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It has been a difficult time for me, and you are reminding me of who I should be when Iām at my best.
However, right now I need to be treated with the kindness and compassion that yet again, I am expected to show others instead. So Iām not going to be able to have this conversation right now.
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