Gwyneth Paltrow's got a $75 "smells like my vagina" candle

[lanika]

No healthy vagina smells like “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed” so that begs the question: what the hell she’s been shoving up her hooha…

[Skeptic]

Is this available from vending machines in Japan?

[Shuck]

Presumably geranium, bergamot, cedar, Damask rose and ambrette seed potpourri…

[NickyG]

is it my imagination or is Paltrow simply trolling wealthy consumers with her products?

It’s a particularly odd form of late-stage capitalist performance art, from what I can tell. Very much of our times, frankly – at least amongst a certain cultural and class segment. Eh, why the fuck not. These are the End Times, after all. Might as well go down hawking vagina candles!

[NickyG]

No healthy vagina smells like “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed” so that begs the question: what the hell she’s been shoving up her hooha…

Do they really smell like anything, other than, well, vagina? I’ve definitely observed variations, but all within a specifically vaginal class. And I can’t say it’s reminiscent of anything else, particularly.

[Brainspore]

If my vagina smelled like “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed,” I’d go see my doctor.

[Ratel]

Smells Like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina is my favorite Nirvana/Coldplay cover band.

[tsath]

Betting it smells like kale, rocks, and shame

[NickyG]

Kale and rocks sure, but shame? No, I doubt very much it smells at all of shame, of all things!

[hecep]

what the hell she’s been shoving up her hooha…

Maybe she switched from coffee and in a daze hit the wrong orifice.

[lava]

It’s a particularly odd form of late-stage capitalist performance art,

Yes, but what I can’t get is she laughing at them, or on board with the joke on herself too. Is she taking advantage of them, or is she wearing the emperors new clothes with them.

[KXKVI]

I think

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

would be a great band name, all by itself! I dare some band to do this.

ETA: I think she should make this a series. You know, “Smells Like My Armpit,” “Smells Like My Left Foot Post Marathon,” “Smells Like My Asshole After Going To Taco Bell,” etc.

[VoxInSpatium]

Yes, but what I can’t get is she laughing at them, or on board with the joke on herself too. Is she taking advantage of them, or is she wearing the emperors new clothes with them.

I think you covered it pretty well. Yes, she’s all of this, all at once.

[NickyG]

Or as they say on teh interwebs…

[lava]

you mean like the goop lab netflix show poster with her standing in a giant vagina

You see - its like some wiseass photoshopped that, except that’s the real show poster.

[BobDobbs]

I got the ad for this which in big bold text says “A peak behind the scenes” (don’t recall which show it is for) but my peripheral vision wasn’t quite on point and my subconscious turned it into “curtains” and I was like “no wayyy” until the gestalt was shattered when i directly looked at it

Also, I’m sorry. True story though

[Skeptic]

you mean like the goop lab netflix show poster with her standing in a giant vagina

Hopefully she doesn’t get steam burns while she’s standing in there

Or chased out by a giant Indiana Jones-style rolling Jade egg…

[Gestalt]

Rich people scamming dumber rich people, who cares!

[heligo]

Why do we give rich people more money?

If we knew the answer to that we’d be rich!

[Wanderfound]

As before:

Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to squirt coffee up your asshole using this $135 glass jar

Gwyneth is always good for a laugh, but she’s one of the less-offensive woo-merchants, IMO. It’s a refreshing change to find one that preys upon the privileged daft rather than the hopeless poor.

Ripping off stupid rich people is an ancient and honourable profession.