Hal Solo in Carbonite Pop Tarts


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You’re dead to me.

The poptarts are cool though.


“I’m sorry Dave, I can’t do that.” HAL was acting solo.


I’m eating one right now.


Does it taste like an icing-coated smuggler?


Watch out for Wookie hair.


Extra protein always welcome in outer space!


It tastes like vinyl and thirty dollars.


“In the future, everyone will be frozen in carbonite for fifteen minutes.”
– Andy Starwarhol


Clearly, the next step is to introduce further pastry-themed Star Wars vinyl gewgaws, culminating in the direct-to-video release of the Pastry Star Wars Movie.

It is inevitable. Princess Leia Cinnamon Buns. Candy Cane Lightsabers. Pumpernickel Vader. Dried Apple Emperor. There’s money to be made.


So they aren’t actual shitty pastries, but vinyl representations of shitty pastries. I was hoping for real, actual, shitty, pastries.


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