Heinz introducing a high-tech customizable condiment dispenser

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Originally published at: Heinz introducing a high-tech customizable condiment dispenser | Boing Boing

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I can’t wait for fast food workers to never clean the machine. Mmmm mold

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I think you might mean you can’t wait for the owners of fast food restaurants to skip having employees clean the machines to s̴a̴v̴e̴ ̴m̴o̴n̴e̴y̴ put more money in their pocket.

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What we really needed was some way to get the last ounce of mayo out of the squeezy bottle without it looking like a sexual accident.

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ketchup
ketchup540×504 59.9 KB

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I solve that problem by never buying mayo :grinning:

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Given my overall allergy to dairy I would really fear cross contamination on this thing. A hard nope.

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But no mustard and no mayo. No malt vinegar either. Hell, we’ll need another refrigerator-sized machine to add to this one!

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Can I just have packets? I don’t want to wait in line for minutes while someone has to work their way through the menu to create jalapeno mango kranch.

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And like pickle vendors always forget about bread & butter, they’ve forgotten honey. What if I want honey BBQ, Kansas City style? :man_shrugging:

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They need to take AI prompts here. For example, I should be able to utter (via voice, not typing) On a beach in Fiji, and see what it does. (Note that this idea is now copyrighted by me. Looking at you, Heinz!)

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Ah, but you see, this machine will talk to the Heinz servers to make sure that the license is up to date, and it’ll also monitor the sauce levels and cleaning status.

So ketchup will cost like printer ink, and they’ll be busting people for having a burger with unauthorized sauce.

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Some of us just go straight raw honey on things like fried chicken, fries or tots.

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What the heck, no Sriracha mustard? Useless device!

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WTF? I love, and have, both of these, yet have never thought of mixing them. Might make that elusive pretzel dip I’ve always wanted.

Note to self:

  1. Get pretzels
  2. make Siracha/Mustard dip
  3. Profit?
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Yep, you definitely get an idea of which places those are. I had a buddy that worked at a McDonalds and he said the milkshake machine wasn’t cleaned very often. On one occasion they moved it and saw a nest of cockroaches scurrying underneath. On the flip side, I know a young lady that worked at a Chik-Fil-A for five years and said the machines were taken apart and sanitized every night. She said that in the five years she worked there she saw a grand total of three bugs.

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Heinz 57 is an awesome sauce.

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