Heinz introducing a high-tech customizable condiment dispenser

My initial concern was that I’d have to avoid these machines because if they dispensed out of a single nozzle like the Coke Freestyle machines, the cross-contamination from the ranch (dairy) would ruin my day. The video suggests that everything may dispense out of individual little nozzles, which makes much more sense and explains the unfortunately fairly limited options. If it proves popular, I’m sure there will be an improved model with mustard, honey, Sriracha, and maybe even brown sauce if they want to use it as a means of introduction to the US market.

One thing I don’t like is the flashing light while it’s working. It may not be enough to harm an epileptic, but it’s unnecessary nonetheless. And it’s slow. The UI has unnecessary button pushes. All options could be in two rows on one screen, press continue, then maybe a giant confirmation button. I like that it doesn’t dispense when the cup is absent, but it also means the unit is useless when someone steals all the cups.

Especially if the cups are chipped to prevent using third-party generic cups.

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Obv. outcomes:

  • Szechuan does a hostile takeover of Heinz and reinvents the thing and insists on FT 60 hour employees to clean the things. Good 40 year run as that.
  • Someone redoes it as fungal condiments and it rocks so hard it doesn’t matter they didn’t have any kind of honey available near it but many people have to be convinced to not clean it so much. There gets to be a sidemarket for allergy testing mini versions of it marketed to HOAs or something along with heat pump BBQ smokers.
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Download - 2019-08-04T191036067jpeg_phixr

meg ryan tissue GIF

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