Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/02/19/hell-cruise-20-people-ordered.html
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I like where the woman embraces the giant fake urn for protection, and then she’s like “wait… this urn’s too self-involved to protect me”
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I knew that Star Trek: The Cruise would not end well.
Oh, hey, I finally get a vaguely contextual ad…
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Carnival: The Wal-Mart of the Seas
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It was going fine until the Return of the Archons cosplay. Perhaps “Red Hour” in the bar wasn’t a good idea?
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“Please don’t let it be Americans, please don’t let it be Americans…”
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Nope.
A family member identified only as Zac said the drama was sparked by a misunderstanding over a thong.
sigh
Straya 
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How can one misunderstand a thong?
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When asked for comment about growing incidents of violence on cruise ships, the GOP stated “We send thoughts and prayers out to those effected.”
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Meh, all major cruise ships are floating obscenities, crass commercialism and first world gluttony burning 10,000 gallons of gasoline an hour, delivering sewage and guileless marks to tourist traps in exchange for an unskilled workforce of hospitality laborers they can abuse with near impunity, peddling Pavlovian conditioning to people who are bad at math and allowing boring people to get smashed and dance to top 40 playlists snug in vaguely dated corporate kitsch.
There are very few exceptions.
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It’s kind of hard to understand any type of footwear that doesn’t have a tongue.
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That was a sad indictment on what it means to be human, and difficult to watch. It sickened me to the stomach and it was real struggle to watch to the end. One day in some utopian future, things will be better, and people will finally realise that they should turn their phones sideways to shoot video.
The brawl was pretty bad too. I’d like to think that the staff are (pretty ineffectively and gently), kicking that person on the ground because they are perhaps choking or eye-gouging someone, and they’re trying to get them to stop. I might be overestimating the quality of the staff, though.
The mere presence of that huge silver plastic urn, somehow, better than the brawl itself ever could, encapsulates the reasons why I would never go on a cruise.
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As an ex-strayan living in North America, I can assure you that it is very easy, and often embarrassing to misunderstand a thong. My cultural integration was finally complete when I finally shed the urge to call that particular footwear by one of its more fraught antipodean names. I have reverted to my birth-country tradition and now call them Jandals. You still wouldn’t wear them when tramping, though.
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Yeah. My mum and dad love them, though. They can’t get enough. Well, not the brawling part.
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Wow, I’m not certain I’ve ever seen the sheer density of contempt in a paragraph-long post. It’s a work of art. (Although Woodchuck45’s sentence-long post scores exceptionally high as well.)
But here’s hoping that you are young enough that the (well-crafted) exhibition of your superiority over those mindless peons is still amusing.
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She was this close to striking a Frank Frazetta pose.
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Did anyone say, “Leave 'im! 'e’s not wurf it!”?
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There are a few of those luxury lines, but they’re very expensive. The ships are often smaller, the passenger-to-crew ratio tighter, the rooms are better equipped. Casinos and shopping malls and discos and tourist-trap landfalls are de-emphasised in favour of fine dining and spas and guest lecturers and jazz and showtune concerts and museum and cultural site tours. The service staff often has some training from 4- and 5-star hotels on land. You won’t find a lot of kids under age 17 on those ships. I know a few elderly cruisers who do one or two of these trips a year and they love it.
Of course, there’s still a lot of first-world gluttony and excess and extreme fuel consumption and waste dumping, but you don’t get brawls, obnoxious drunks, screaming kids, general crassness, etc. Either way, cruise vacations are not for me.
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