Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/04/24/here-are-the-unambiguous-rules.html
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I don’t quite know what the point is of sharing this. IMO, yes there are may contradictions and uncertainties, as well as guidelines changing overtime.
But in my eyes this says, “Nothing they told is is true or consistent, so just ignore all of it. It’s all bullshit.”
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The real monster isn’t coronavirus, but posting text as images.
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Finally, something everyone can agree on.
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I’m really seeing a lot of disagreement on 1) these days. Even official sources seem to be inconsistent on whether going out to walk, bike, or jog (while maintaining social distance) is okay or being irresponsible and that you should stay at home unless you really need to go to the grocery, pharmacy, etc.
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Complete with visible insertion point and word count bubble obscuring some of the text…
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As long as it’s in portrait format, unless it’s in landscape format, in which case square format is acceptable.
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I took a shot at transcribing. Obviously there is part which is completely obscured but I think we are all cynical enough to fill in the blanks appropriately 
A summary of the current situ by someone I don’t know…
This explains my daily attitude shifts regarding our situation:
You can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
Masks are useless, but maybe you should wear one, it can save you. They might not work but may be mandatory as well.
Stores are closed, except those that are open.
This virus is deadly but not too scary, except that you could die, or you might have already had it and didn’t even know.
Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.
Everyone needs to stay home, but get out and exercise, but you might get in trouble, unless no one else is exercising where you are.
There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, bu there are many things missing, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you could be sick without symptoms, or have symptoms without being sick.
You can immediately eat the restaurant food delivered to your house, but have your groceries decontaminated outside for three hours.
You are safe if you maintain six feet distance from others, as long as those people are strangers. Seeing friends at a safe distance is forbidden.
The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. But also a dry one.
We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we only test those who were almost dead to find out if that’s what they will die of.
We have no treatment, except maybe one that works unless you take the wrong amount. There’s no way to know.
We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we establish collective immunity, which requires leaving your house, so get out more while staying inside.
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Personally, this really sums up the good intentions of us as a society combined with the frustrating lack of trustworthy facts and a logically applied narrative over the past months. I really enjoyed it and I like the way it captures my feelings at the moment. Definitely going to share.
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They forgot:
Wash your hands often and you aren’t washing them long enough.
Use hand sanitizer to kill the germs and hand sanitizer doesn’t kill the germs.
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I think in this timeline you could alter that to this:
4b. The virus is deadly, unless it isn’t, but you are already dead and don’t even know it.
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This list is apparently from the group of people who are convinced that the chance of rain is perpetually 50%.
it will rain, or it wont.
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“I laughed, I cried, it’s the greatest thing since ‘CATS.’”
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Right wing bullshit spreading FUD to get people to mistrust doctors and stop taking precautions. Fuck this MAGAT shit.
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I want to smack anyone who views uncertainty as lack of authority. Science is supposed to be uncertain, that’s how it works. The only people who are 100% certain are idiots like Trump.
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this is very accurate, but also inaccurate
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As a working scientist myself, I agree with you in theory, but this isn’t quite like the usual debates in science where there is a clear consensus opinion on how things work and only a few minor issues that are under debate. There it is clear what to do: listen to the actual experts and ignore the crackpots. Here genuine experts disagree on core concepts (although there are still crackpots as well).
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A tell-all documentary mixed with a jail sentence, possibly followed up with a pardon directly from the President, some time after he’s completed his daily bleach injections.
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