tl;dr just act passive-aggressive.
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In my experience, this is a good technique to use if you’re stuck dealing with a narcissist (e.g. a work supervisor or family member connected to someone you care about) and can’t just tell them to f*ck off. They’ll complain to everyone about you being boring and a stick in the mud, but who cares what these arseholes say.
One of the good things about this method is when you finally do have the opportunity to cut the energy vampire out of your life you have the opportunity to really shock them by changing gears and telling them exactly what you think of them. Suddenly the boring old grey rock becomes a very unexpected avalanche raining down on their heads. It’s very cathartic and satisfying.
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To which I’d point out that’s where they’re making a major error. On being asked what that error is, my reply would be mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck what they think.
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Just go on a long monologue about a topic that you and no one else finds interesting. Works for me every time. I recently got folks to flee by talking extensively about a linzer torte that I baked using a 500-year old recipe. .
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Don’t be too sure that would work in general. I’m sure I’m not the only fan of Tasting History.
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Before a trip to Paris in 2002, I picked up a French phrase book that provided the handy advice to use this with pests, “Allez-vous-en!” But that may actually be too polite for some such people.
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“Are you going” HA HA HA!
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Is this the American version?
“You’re still here?”
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A scroll or potion of flatulence will also work.
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As someone with a couple narcissistic family members, I have not found this method works. Maybe with other acquaintances, but with family, IME, they will just drill down, bait in conversations, and lie to others to continually draw you into the drama. Maybe if everyone in the family did this it would work, but if some are enablers, it continues.
Sadly, I had to set really strong boundaries: I don’t want this person in my life (there was criminal behavior beyond the typical abuses from such people), and if you bring them into it, I don’t want you in my life. It sucks, and I really feel for anyone who has to deal with narcissists in scenarios where going “no contact” is not an option. It took me an exhausting number of decades to break free.
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I don’t know about narcissists, but I have long used these techniques on people who just want to argue with me.
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I came here to guiltily admit the same, saw it had already been done and “liked” by dozens, so now don’t feel as guilty.
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I feel you. Techniques like this can be useful in, say, the workplace or on games night with “that one person.” Dealing with high-level narcissism in a familial abuse setting is a whole 'nother game.
Hugs if you want 'em.
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This is pretty good advice if you genuinely want a narcissist to go away
It’s not usually difficult to make a narcissist go away though—I’ve found they generally want us to compete for their attention, and simply failing to make enough effort is enough for them to move on
The term may be expanding to cover other kinds of annoying people and thus losing its usefulness
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Awwww, thanks!
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by the powerlessness of grey rock
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GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
(BB doesn’t think that’s a complete sentence 
)
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