Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/12/07/the-boing-boing-store-2016-hol.html
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Certified by Samsung; must be a quality product!
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it’s BBs greatest hits of crap! That they couldn’t foist off on readers during the year.
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I drove by their former headquarters a few months ago off 495, I’m glad the (ugly as sin) building remains, but the now pedestrian uses for it are a little sad.
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Honestly. I love Boing. But they post the most useless crap with two thumbs up. It’s really odd in my mind. Such a loyal, knowledgeable audience, and BB offers the weirdest crapfest. Thanks for your comment to voice my (our) concern.
I mean… These are great products.
Just a few issues.
The fitbit clone the manufacturer won’t stand behind with any kind of warranty.
The onewheel clone is still too expensive by at least double (or triple) for the target audience. ($200, it’s an impulse buy as I’m moving to a major metro area in Jan. Any more, I will walk.)
The ice cube tray doesn’t come with the necessary liquid nitrogen to make the ice cubes that attractive (or the necessary compression apparatus to make Ice II at something like 27k PSI).
The toiletries bag…? (?) !!! (? - ?)
Want cold brew coffee anywhere in just 2 hours? 2 words: Milk Jug.
The watch is somehow too cheap, and not trendy enough. Less trendy, more expensive OK. Less trendy, less expensive OK. More trendy, more expensive, OK. It seems to hit the exact price point and level of trendy where nobody could possibly want it. Not even ironically. I mean, unless you’re trying to out-irony the ironic hipsters that are trying to already trolley other hipsters. Hey, if you’re reading this still, do you take commissions?
The Xbox controller, I have practical advice. Don’t ever pay more for third party controllers. They are always worse. “Yes but, it’s cheaper than the premium Xbox pro controller”. Yeah, OK. I even like Razer as a company, think they make great stuff. …For PC’s. Third party controllers are never better, and rarely worth the effort, let alone the cost. Just buy the damn pro, or the XBO S controller with a super long battery life. Half measures and all that.
A 3d printer pen? So you mean, basically, a hot glue gun. (Or a cold hot glue gun) No, you won’t be making amazing things with it, because it’s not remotely a 3d printing anything, it’s a thing that requires you to have artistic talent, which you mostly probably don’t. (Because so few of us do) If you did, you woudn’t be buying a 3d printing hot glue gun thingy, you’d actually be making sculptures and things, and hell, maybe with a regular hot glue gun, because you’re talented and can make art with a dead squirrel, a thrift store wall clock, and some modeling clay.
This weatherproof smart bike lock unlocks from an app and can even share access with friends and family.
Thank god BB has never posted on the absolutely shitty security of IoT devices. Also thank god, it’s less than $200, because the cheapness has never been mentioned as a driving factor behind the shittiness of IoT security.
So the super small Windows 10 device actually looks intriguing, for the price. I mean, how bad could it be, if it can meet baseline Win10 requirements? I bought a cheap number a while back for a little less, and it’s limited but pretty great for the price.
Terms
All sales final
GODDAMMIT BB.
Let’s be honest. For this crowd, they need to be Rubies. 
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