Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/19/how-about-a-hot-cheetos-turkey.html
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You people.
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Fixed that for you! 
I worked for Reynolds years ago and the test kitchens were in the basement / lower floors of my building. It is just as you might imagine, a series of kitchens and tables with foil products all over the place and testers scurrying around wearing white aprons and hair nets. Every foil product you can think of is tested there except for maybe hats.
If I remember correctly there were hot fries or Cheetos in the break room vending machines then…
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“crispy”??? I think not -everything steams inside those bags. Soggy, ■■■■■, or soft would be better descriptors.
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I got a little vomit in the back of my mouth on that one…
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I thought the most authentically American turkey dinner was the one where you use an engine hoist and a 45 gallon drum of cooking oil to deep-fry the largest possible turkey you can fit in there and subsequently burn down your house?
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For me, the gross part is the plastic bag.
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Speaking in my capacity as a card-carrying American, yes, that is correct, sir.
When I was briefly in Edinburgh I learned that Scots deep-fry candy bars to start their chip-pan fires, instead of turkeys. Seems more efficient!
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Or (this one is real) slather the bird with mustard and coat that with crumbled potato chips.
Better with salmon, but works for turkey too.
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Deep-fried haggis and chips is the way to go in Scots chippies. Scotch pies are also divine if’n you find a good purveyor thereof.
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I gotta admit… seeing the “Flavor blasted turkeys” URL did make me lol
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I would eat this, and I bet I would like it.
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I mean, it’s just shake and bake.
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Username checks out
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Other than ubiquity, it seems like you could probably accomplish the same thing just by coating the turkey is fairly hot spices. The fried corn bits don’t seem like they would add much in the way of texture due to the steaming, and I don’t think Flamin Hot Cheetos are actually cheesy, not that there wouldn’t be a workaround for that either.
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This is the “Twin Prime Conjecture” of culinary wrongness.
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