House Speaker Michael Johnson and his son monitor one other's use of pornography

Originally published at: House Speaker Michael Johnson and his son monitor one other's use of pornography | Boing Boing

6 Likes

21 Likes

But what does Mike Pence think? Too weird?!

14 Likes

I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate."

… or possibly a burner phone and a pay-as-you-go account, because even the kids of weirdo Christian politicians can be tech-savvy.

Or a cheap Android tablet on the home network. Or … or … or …

I think if you need to put special software on your phone to keep you “pure”, then you have a problem that no amount of technology can cure. Also, as someone who grew up before the era when you could keep 80GB of hardcore porn in a box in your pocket at all times, I can confirm that the average teenage boy can imagine things that would make Jesus’s jaw drop with no help from Apple or Samsung whatsoever.

But, whatever. I look forward to phase 2, when Mike and his son take delivery of their personalized electric chastity belts that zap them in the nuts every time they get a boner. Because you know that’s next.

21 Likes

Monitor or trade?

Our daughter was a teenager in the 90s when AOl, Compuserv, chat rooms were evolving quickly. She was allowed to have a computer with internet access in her room but it was heavily monitored with a key logger that was set to look for keywords and things like exchanging phone numbers or addresses.

But I showed her exactly how it worked and it never came into play because she was very responsible and earned our trust early on.

By the time she was 17 we never worried at all about what she was doing.

And we’re not even in the Christian cult. We’re in the teaching, learning, and trusting cult.

Seems trust or even trusting their own will power and morals with these people is not a thing.

They want to impose their morals on us but they can’t even control themselves.

Maybe Boebert needs an accountability partner.

9 Likes

Yep. I guess I’m “better” than him because I don’t need any accountability software to stop me from watching internet porn. :roll_eyes:

Excellent point, well said.
In their Gilead, I guess we’ll all need this kind of constant monitoring to keep us “clean.” So gross.

15 Likes

They want to impose their morals on everyone else because they think that everyone else is as perverted and incapable of self-control as they are, if not more so. “If we Christians are so bad,” they think, “how much worse are other people?”

10 Likes

Just surprised that his wife isn’t forced to wear a burka.

Or is she?

1 Like

Christian fundamentalists do have rules on “modest” dress.

5 Likes

Or he has a friend, with a computer and/or a phone.

2 Likes

Xtianists being Xtianists, it’s only a matter of time before we find out that “monitor” means “share and drool over”.

5 Likes

9 Likes

This Johnson fella seems as sketchy as Santos. Is that the low bar they’re setting now? Creepy AF.

Shouldn’t the software alert God? Isn’t that your ultimate accountability partner?

God’s like “Fuck that, I don’t know this guy, I get enough notifications as it is”.

11 Likes

A bunch of pentecostals married into my dad’s family, and some of them came up to visit that cousin’s place on our vacation island up in northern michigan. Some = husband and wife and an absurd number of children, since they can’t use contraception.

the wife would wear these ankle-length skirts, which are dangerous since the island is made of rock and walking on the shore requires good balance and not wearing clothing that can trip you.

she would wrangle her kids by saying things like “OBEY ME!”

They put a cross in the water just at the shoreline and the cousin made a deck on top of their boathouse so they could all go out and stand on it and pray in the mornings.

I know it’s kinda bad form to rag on people’s religious choices in a general sense - people can believe spiritual things they want to believe, unless they’re hurting other people - but man, they were creepy weird.

7 Likes

I know we aren’t supposed to make assumptions about people’s personal lives based on how stridently they condemn certain groups or practices.

But damn…

3 Likes

There is no trust with these people. They assume everyone as “sinners” and sinners will “sin.” The projection is strong with this one.

3 Likes

Is admitting that you’ve set up a system that will send pornography to minors in the event of a failure you deem likely enough to have set the system up in the first place not a bad thing?

3 Likes

Or in the worst case, a severely repressed attitude to sexuality which will cause him and his romantic partners (if any) great unhappiness in the future.

10 Likes

I gotta say, this is no surprise. The same people who decide that they can’t stop themselves from sinning without the threat of hellfire and eternal damnation obviously can’t trust themselves not to stray into porn without a powerful form of oversight.

Wouldn’t it be nice if these people would just concern themselves more with accepting their own responsibility for their actions instead of needing a vengeful and disapproving god to stare down at their every move? FFS, it’s pathetic!

9 Likes
1 Like