Houston's "inchworm bandits" create performance art while robbing restaurants on their bellies


Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/28/they-go-low.html


2 questions/comments:

Why do they need 3 people for the job? that seems like an unnecessary pot-split. if they’re not wearing gloves, they’re leaving fingerprints all over the floor…most likely the only fingerprints on the floor (I certianly wouldn’t touch a restaurant floor with my hands…)


Also, at the end once they are outside again one of them can be sen putting ON gloves. They need to do some research and watch some good movies.


They’re avoiding the laser beams from the high-tech security system. Duh.
(Ooop, already stated in the article)
Also, pizza grease makes a great lubricant for sliding across the floor in your new, white jeans.


I wonder how soon they’ll be identified by their “designer” duds (if the cops care enough to really pursue this)?


“But I don’t want to totally rule out the possibility that these guys knew exactly where the cameras were in the place they were robbing, and just decided to do a ninja crawl across the floor because they thought it’d be funny if it made the news.”

I’d like to go with “C” as my answer: drugs. They did the inchworm because drugs.




Never underestimate the drive of poor idiots to rob other poor idiots


I’m pretty sure somebody used this technique many years ago to sabotage a place I was working. The cameras were all set too high to show whoever it was, but we believe they belly crawled down many rows of cubicles, unplugging the phone and computer cables and placing small squares of transparent tape over the conductors before plugging them back in. The camera footage shows occasional jiggling chairs but no people.


The correct term for this crime is burglary, not robbery.


“You’ve got to have a gimmick if your band sucks.”
– Gary Giddins


It made me laugh, a loud hearty laugh.


Last week 3 people broke into another Houston pizza shop and rolled across the floor in view of the security camera. Maybe the dumbest gang/frat initiation ever?


So, Sacha Baron Cohen, then?


They probably based their heist training on old Catherine Zeta-Jones movies.



They are probably avoiding the super inexpensive motion sensors that business have. Just a guess.

I remember one being a restaurant and not having the keys to unlock the the front door. I could pop the emergency exit but then couldn’t silence the alarm because I lacked a hex key/Allen wrench. Long story short, I wasn’t a regular employee, I was from corporate and security rolled around, saw somebody working with the restaurant closed, not in uniform and they called the police. Fast forward the interaction was this.

Police- “You need to open this door. Let me see your hands.”

Me- “I can’t. I don’t have the key. I’m from corporate and I’m finishing up a computer installation. I can pop the emergency door open, but I can’t turn off the alarm once it gets started. Prep cook should be here but now or arrive shortly. He’s kinda late. Let me call somebody with a key.”

Police- “Don’t bother. Have a nice night.” (Perfectly good de-esclation and threat determination)

Dress like a plumber, IT worker, cleaners, HVAC installer, etc… and nobody will think twice. Heck, strap a spray tank on, wear a respirator and goggles, and everybody will think it is bug night and nobody will want to get too close.


Masterminds. Every bit the caliber of the Home Alone ‘Wet Bandits’, and likely to share their destiny.



They should be easy to find. Just look for the dirty knees, elbows, and stomachs. I would not want to crawl across most restaurant floors, and especially behind a bar.


As they approached the heart of the pizzeria, the difficulty increased…